Carnival City Macsteal a Classic Crash Report 2 - Corporate Challenge Edition
As it turns out, The Carnival City Macsteal a Classic offer a Corporate Team Challenge where a team of four will compete against other teams in the 65km race for a grand prize of R 5000!!! The average time of all four team mates will be used to determine the winner.
Upon hearing this, Larry immediately contacted the Animal Farms.
Larry: (excited) guys, guys, let’s do this! Ever since I was a little BOy watching Tour de France I have wanted to compete like them, this is great!!!
Goat: (dismissive) Little you are! Bah, I no interest, I clean house.
‘Pa: (worried) Racing before Argus, no, no, I do an easy ride with Katy (Yep, easy, right...).
Panda: (heart pounding) No, no, doc say I do too much, rest pace, rest pace...
Almost a Donkey: (cursing) I am in, but I gotta work...
Stache & Tubs wanna go long, Crap & Katy will be feuding, Taggie is playing in ‘Tall grass and the Appliconts are unreliable. With little choice, Larry called...
BObbie: (huh) R 5000?!!! In, I am in!!!
Lani: (bring it) How maach am I getting?!!!
BOat: (sour) I am the last guy you asked?!!!
Anyway, Team B.O. Is registered.
As usual, B.O. Corporates arrives at the Carnival City all chilled and casual just catching the Craptain’s lecture.
Crap: (advil) What did I say about putting race numbers the right way!!! Details, people, details!!! It’s how you win races!!!
Crap: (advil) 'Pa Show dem!
'Pa showed dem...
BObbie: (excited) Here Katy, I show ju!!!
Katy: (screaming) BObbie! I sure hope that's a safety pin!!!
No matter, Crap and the rest of the long distance teamies needs to leave. B.O. Corporates with a later start messed around in the parking. Larry is unusually tense.
BOat: (curious) Larry, what’s up?
Larry: (praying) Not sure, but I am nervous for some reason and BObbie is not making it any better.
BOat looked at BObbie and found him already counted and planned how to use the R 5000.
BOat: (reminding) BObbie, we haven’t won it yet!!!
BObbie: (giddy) I buy you an ice cream when we back. As a matter of fact, I buy you two!!!
Time to go. The teamies rocked up to the starting cage and squeezes their way to as close to the front as possible and started discussing race tactics and marking their opponents. Judging by the numbers they were about 15 teams and the teamies agreed it will be Vanderbijlpark Cycles and Harmony Gold to beat. They also identified the Green Toppies and Some White/Red Kit as potential money grabbers.
Larry: (serious) All right, we don’t attack, we don’t counter and maybe we fake an attack at the final stretch.
Boat: (serious) We all stop for technicals so we can still attempt to get back in.
Lani: (serious) Ja, We stick together, don’t split but let’s try to split them using the hills, BObbie, that’s your job.
BObbie: (counting his share) I am having a fillet, are we eating at Carnival or should we go to The Grill House?
EveryBOdy smacks BObbie, Larry smacked him twice since BObbie pinned his number but he pinned into Larry and not his jersey.
And with the cage released Harmony Gold immediately set the pace up front. Few palookas from AM groups jumped in to work with them. B.O.’s with their objective set in sight refused to move up front and sat comfortably in the peloton. Pretty soon Vanderbijlpark Cycles decided the pace was too slow and went up front. Surveying the peloton the teamies found that almost everyBOdy upfront are all CC numbers with a few AM palookas getting a tow! This excites Larry to no end and he broke the guideline and moved himself to the front.
Larry: (giddy) This is just like Tour de France!!!
BOat: (looking to BObbie and Lani) What is he doing?!!!
BObbie: (radioing) Larry, Larry, get back here, what are you doing?
Larry: (pulling a Cuntador and dropped his ear piece...)
By now, the teamies found out Harmony Gold had an Elite Gal in their team and Vanderbijlpark Cycles has another two riders not wearing CC numbers supporting them. With a few AM palookas looking for a good time, they are launching multiple attacks trying to shake the peloton. This had Larry all amped up and countered each and every one of the attack. Bobbie at the back couldn’t count past five thousand is now looking for food.
The peloton maintained their numbers and Harmony Gold with a few failed attacks decided to sit back. Vanderbijlpark Cycles are now working in the front along and are cursing at the peloton for not helping. Teamies are now sharing BObbie’s donuts. Hey, BObbie want his money.
Around midway through the race is a 1km hill. Break point!!! Teamies immediately snaps out of their coma state and watching for any team's attack. And attack they did. Vanderbijlpark Cycles hits full gas with Harmony Gold right behind them. Entire peloton reacts. B.O. Corporates though remained calm, spins their way up and watches. Half way up the climb teamies maintain pace watching early attackers falling back and sent BObbie all the way to the top for a scouting report.
BObbie: (reporting back) Well, Harmony Gold is blown, one of them is not gonna make it. Vanderbijlpark broke successfully and are riding away. Other guys are going no where.
Larry: (nervous) We need to get them back!!!
BObbie: (eating a donut) Why? At this pace, I give them 2km.
As the peloton regroups the teamies made sure of their positions around 15th in the peloton and motored toward the final stretch towards Carnival City. CC numbers are now moving up along with AM free loaders and gathered long distance palookas. Vanderbijlpark Cycles are now no where to be found. But Harmony Gold having rested is now on the attack again and everyone is getting edgy and taking turns attacking. Larry now is filled with excitement and wanted to join the attacks. But he couldn’t go because BObbie leaned his mass on him.
Larry: (pumped) WTF? Let me at them!!!
BObbie: (almost snoring) Why, look at the attacks, they don’t last more than 5 seconds.
Since the time is the average of all four members that means only 3 teams are now in contention. B.O.’s, the Green Toppies and Some White/Red Kit who is now attacking hard. And popped, 5 seconds...
With only two teams left for the R 5000 and the pelotons getting bigger (so Green Toppies have more people to lurk in) Larry volunteers to attack when the race reaches it’s final 1km with a left turn to split up the peloton. But BObbie is already on the out skirt said he will do it and the rest of the teamies can sit and wait for the line.
And as soon as the peloton hit the left turn one of the Green Toppies who probably had the same thoughts attacked. Bobbie immediately jumped and the two sprinted. It was however, probably too fast as the peloton couldn’t latch on but chased maintaing its size. Bobbie then ran out of gas pulled left so he can jump back in the peloton from behind (the Green Toppie also blew).
Then the peloton split like Moses commanding the red sea.
Right up front one of the Green Toppies are gunning for the line with Lani right on his wheel and then into his wheel when the Green Toppie ran out of gas and smacking into the tar for a cracked collar bone. Lani flipped over his handlebar and landed on his well fed tummy for cushioning was fine and immediately raised his hand and shouted “I am OK guys, I am OK!!!”...
Then BOat bounced on him like Obelix on Romans...
With no one in front and Green Toppies falling apart...
And BObbie seeing the dollar signs with wings flying away...
Fortunately the Green Toppie was conscious with a cracked collar bone. Boat and Lani though...
LOOK, it's Asterix and Obelix!!!
Arriving back at camp they found a winning Crap, spokeless Tubs and ‘Pa avoiding Katy for some reason and another missed win for Team B.O.
Where the heck is HeliBO?!!! We no wanna ER24, we wanna HeliBO!!!
The Mummy!!!
Nope, it's not a B.O. stunt, the ER24 really did that, we want HeliBO!!!
At least BOat and Lani will be fine for Argus.
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