Team B.O.

To our 2785 royal, rabid and you really need to get a real life fans, Goat, MFSLC Ninja, Pluggie, Whale, Katy, Dev 1, Tubs and BObbie will depart from the comfort of the celebrating Johannesburg and head into the wild, with minimal supplies (Goat: (screaming) BObbie ju put down that trailer, we are not towing a trailer of food! BObbie, I am warning you, put it down! That's it, let go, just let go, good boy, good, no, no, don't you dare!!!). The teammies will need to conquer 800km of danger, hunger, thirst (Ninja: (screaming) Pluggie, is that a barrel of beer?!!!) and inhuman amount of whatever that will describe what a bunch of men they are (Ninja: (trying to calm down) Whale, tuna will rot, yes, rot, stinks, not good for tummy, no tuna...). BONN have rehired the reBOrter and he will risk his life again and accompanying the Team B.O. Expedition Team and send back Running Diaries to update you all (Goat: (trying to be calm) Tubs, if beer is not allowed, what makes you think wh

Just when 'Pa thought he's about to go aero... Tubs: (proudly declaring) The only Black Sabbath. Goat, Larry, Lani, 'Tall, Katy, Panda, Whale: (disagrees....)

[Ed. note: we have been receiving a lot of letters from our 2785 rabid and loyal fans regarding their heroes and hero wannabes. The most common request our fans are asking is how do the B.O.'s train? What do they do in a typical training session. What is so special about these B.O.'s that they can get sponsored when thousands of amateurs can't? To answer your query, BONN follows the team's best rider and a VeeBee, the Goat on a Thursday and a routine 115 course. Goat is joined by 'Pa (or Horsey), BObbie (who we tried to convince him to not come as he is the worst image a team can portray, but he showed up anyway), Dev1 who he is developing (see, Team B.O. also helps the under developed by developing them, it's why people love B.O.'s), Lani and Dev 3 (Lani who refused to be outdone by the Goat adopted a Dev. He looks completely opposite to BObbie's super model looking Dev2, don't have long legs like Dev2, rides a BMX and weighs like a Whale. In other

This morning, the three original B.O.s decided to at least get on the bike to wonder a bit so when they have the traditional Lani breakie, they won't feel so guilty. The three BOmigos strolled around the residential areas, listening to the bird singing, munching nice snacks Lani prepared for BObaby 2, arguing about BObbie's weight issues and Goat's VB. It was a good one. Until they bumped into this... Oops... sorry... that's 'Tall's legs... my bad... What is this blurry thing you asked? Well, it's blurry because BObbie's hand was still shaking when he took it, Lani had to ride side ways, Goat literally came to a stand still and refuses to go back down and up again. With the sun blocking the distant view you don't see how high the BOmigos are standing. With a turn, you don't see how long it is and photos do not show you how steep the gradient is. This is the Peri Peri. This has been certified by the Goat with his stomp of approval. T

There has been rumours that Tubs is not completely satisfied with his new weapon of choice and has been in secret talks of adding deep section rims to match his new aero bike. Hearing this, 'Pa immediately reacted. 'Pa: (advil and pointing to Tubs then pumps his chest) bring it, bring it bitch! Come Sunday I show you how deep I can go!!!

Zies morning the B.O.'s gathered to attempt again in cracking BObbie & Goat's unbeatable course record of the 115 at 1h13m20s of 37km. It was extremely hard training...  On the menu today is a full Southern Chinese breakie.  Crystal dumplings. Made with rice pastry stuffed with juicy mince & cabbage. Steamed then lightly grilled. Dip with garlic & chili flavored dark soy sauce.  Golden muntous. Steamed buns then deep fried to create a crunchy skin with soft and textured inside to grease your joints. Vege stir fry noodles. Tunas added for Omega 3.   Since sum type of riding needs to be done to justify the food intake, 'Pa decided to teach BObaby 2 how to ride. No cycling clubs trains as hard as Team B.O.

Etap { e - tup } [noun] An animal wondering in the wild hoping to be domesticated. Carries excessive weight and do not verse in complete sentences. It will wonder around a farm hoping to be accepted. And because of its enormous population, it's OK to drive them over with a bus. They however, do not taste good and is mostly fatty. Best to make bacons out of it. So on a Saturday morning when Lani, Larry, 'Pa, 'Tall and BObbie found one, they kicked it, dragged it across tar and made it pray to the gods. We welcum BOat , who after several attempts and was the team's first ever ETAP, finally earning his B.O.

At 03h41 the morning after the 94, Lani received a call from Tubs. Tubs: (begging) Lani, please man, show me how to be better... Tubs: (declaring) THE REAL BLACK SABBATH!!! Goat: (fainted...)

Lani have never liked the Momentum Cycle Challenge that is commonly known amongst cyclist as the 94. A festive person, Lani wants vibes, festivity, boerewors rolls and coke. It is why he loves Argus and thinks 94 is just a pretentious race. And 94 is getting harder. The route now almost never have long sections of flats. You are either going up or going down, fast. It's fine when you not racing, but it's damn hard when your average speed is in excess of 35km/h. And whilst it is the second largest cycling event in South Africa that annually draws around 25000 cyclist onto the full road closure course, Team B.O. have never really felt welcomed on the road. The support groups are small and insincere. BObbie remembers passing Dunkeld where the real lani's are sipping coffee and watching as if the cyclists are ruining their usual dull Sundays. So the mood toightens when the teammies gathered for one last diabolical training session.  'Tall woke up so early she couldn&