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Showing posts from January, 2012

JHB to DBN Tour Diary Day 5 Part I - The Assault!

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Day 5 Part 1, Howick to Durban, or NOT, 159km. Unlike any other day, the teamies begin the day not on their bike but in the cars. [Ed. Note: yes, yes, let’s not bother with breakfast because according to the fat BObbie, what were you expecting when the dindin was best described as dog food. Wait, according to the fat BObbie, dogs at Lani’s eat better than the crap they plated. Maybe you think the fat BObbie should bring his standard back to norm after B.C.J., but even when they found out they could have French pressed coffee instead of dish water that is Ricoffee, the powder was from last century. At least you could count on the eggs, I mean eggs are eggs and I cannot believe I just spent a paragraph on food, let’s just move on...] At least they can pack the car properly for some comfort and we did find out what the Whale was doing to the Ninja deep into the nights. Off they go back to civilization. Well, if they can find their way out first. Being so hi

Hartie Training Ride

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We interrupt the Tour Diary to give you a more recent update to the most weird cycling team in South Africa. Goat, 'Pa, Tubs, BOat, new applicont Cont 5 and BObbie rode to Harties and came back climbing Hekkies. But enough about how hard the team eats... Nothing is better than a pool session after a long ride...  Tubs & BObbie comparing sizes... Tubs won, BObbie sour...  NoBOdy wanna play with the Goat... 'Pa: (begging) I wanna play with you BObbie... BObbie: (you wanna play?) Well den, play with the wors! 'Pa: (traumatized) It won't fit!!! 'Pa wants BObbie out of his house after his rude introduction to a wors... BObbie: (picked his nose, burps, scratched his ass and then farts in 'Pa's direction...) BTW, please welcome a new applicont, Cont 5 was conned to join Team B.O., somewhere in the South Cont 4 is throwing a party...

JHB to DBN Tour Diary Day 4 - The Everest

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Day 4, Winterton to Howick, 152km. It had been cooking during the hot summer nights. So far, either than Tubs & Pluggie who literally smokes at the same time, drink at the same time and snores at the same time, most teamies struggle to get a good night of sleep. Goat wouldn’t let BObbie watch TV and claims BObbie snores, BObbie refused to let Goat leg hump him and claims Goat don’t flush. Ninja loves to tell tales late into the night and the Whale prefers sleeping in a bath tub, the two however, enjoys some peculiar acts of indecencies. lt’s a love hate relationship that are on and off. Katy & Dev 1 because they are girls and this is a family viewing BOg, so we can’t exactly tell you what happens in their room. Point is, the teamies went to breakie, grumpy... Until they saw Big Chef James has woken up early to specially cook breakies for the teamies and had already fresh baked some muffins! Goat immediately shoved some into his back pockets. Even t