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Showing posts from February, 2012

Carnival City Macsteal a Classic Crash Report 2 - Corporate Challenge Edition

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As it turns out, The Carnival City Macsteal a Classic offer a Corporate Team Challenge where a team of four will compete against other teams in the 65km race for a grand prize of R 5000!!! The average time of all four team mates will be used to determine the winner. Upon hearing this, Larry immediately contacted the Animal Farms. Larry: (excited) guys, guys, let’s do this! Ever since I was a little BOy watching Tour de France I have wanted to compete like them, this is great!!! Goat: (dismissive) Little you are! Bah, I no interest, I clean house. ‘Pa: (worried) Racing before Argus, no, no, I do an easy ride with Katy (Yep, easy, right...). Panda: (heart pounding) No, no, doc say I do too much, rest pace, rest pace... Almost a Donkey: (cursing) I am in, but I gotta work... Stache & Tubs wanna go long, Crap & Katy will be feuding, Taggie is playing in ‘Tall grass and the Appliconts are unreliable. With little choice, Larry called... BObbie: (huh) R

Carnival City Macsteal a Classic Race Report Part 1 - 'Pa's Edition

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It all started with ‘Pa waking up at 03h00 for no reasons what so ever.  [Ed. note: (explaining) what did you expect from an old man...] After rolling around in bed, ‘Pa decided to get up, go to the toilet and drop a load. After realizing that it is not cool being awake at that time of day, ‘Pa decided to SMS some of the B.O.’s to wake them up.  [Ed. Note: (stating) B.O.’s received the SMS around 04h00, ‘Pa went to his throne around 03h00, no wonder ‘Pa is full of... Anyway ‘Pa, if you eat more veges, you would be less constipated. Use it, don’t use it...] [More ed. Note: (clarifying) there were a general theme in the replies ‘Pa received from his early bird SMS. Basically described how ‘Pa should do to himself what you would with your partner sexually...] ‘Pa went for a shower and do the stuff REAL men do; shave, put on body lotion and EAU DE TOILET, ISSEY MIYAKE , I know, not even BOtall, the FEMAN does this before the race, but REAL men do. [Ed. Note: (seri

The Arms Race Report - More Retro Edition

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I mean this is Team B.O., famous for outdoing each other... Stache: (pounding his chest until he coughs blood) What does BObbie and Goat know about old!!!

Saddle Time

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This begs the question of is it time on the saddle or time with the saddle...

Berge en Dale Race Report - The Attack of the Palookas!!!

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For some reason the teamies performed poorly at the Dischem Ride for Sight. Well, except Katy who whipped everyBOdy and Crap’s ass and BObbie who powered punctured teamies back into peolotons and terrorized FL palookas up the hills with Taggie in one hand and a cheese burger in another. So as Saturday approaches for the Berge en Dale Classics, the teamies are all of a sudden grim and serious, starting with BObbie, who terrorized the crap out of his toilet, literally... BObbie: (reading 21 SNLV mags and whistling whilst raining greenish, feta cheese like substances into his toilet bowl and when he is finally done he had a dead leg and couldn’t get up so he rained some more...) [BOditor’s English teacher: (speechless) When I said you have a future as a writer this is NOT what I meant!!!] Anyway, BObbie is out, like the greenish.... As is Lani, with BObaby 2 who decide he didn’t need his parent to go anywhere and he thinks the toilet is where you store his brother’s