JHB to DBN Tour Diary Day 2

Day 2, Frankfurt to Clarens, 166km.

As instructed, the staffs at the Victorian Manor had to wake up extra early and wake up the teamies.

Innocent opened the door to room 1A and found the girls up, dressed and ready to roll.

Katy: (polite) Thank you Innocent.

Dev 1: (polite and thankful) Yes, thank you Innocent.

Maria opened room 1B and just shook her head...

Maria: (disapprove), eish, ag nee man, eish...

Goat: (had his left hairy leg over BObbie’s fat tummy and snoring away...)

Bobbie: (had his arm over Goat’s mouth snoring with his body in star shape and a standing 21...)

Jeffrey opened room 2A and had to wave his hands trying to dispel smokes, then he stamped on empty beer cans trying to reach Pluggie & Tubs. Try as he might, Pluggie and Tubs can’t be woken. Jeffrey shoved cigarette butts into both teamies’ nostrils. It worked like a chimney...

Sophie opened room 3A, shrieked and slammed the door shut immediately.

Whale: (waking up slowly) haba, haba?

Ninja: (still dreaming) no, no, Goatie, not with your wheel!!!

[2785 faithful, loyal and rabid fans: (confused) why did Sophie shriek?]

[Ed.: (explaining) well, please be patient until day 5 diary, all will be revealed.]

As expected, the teamies fought to pooh pooh. Skid marks on chammies are expected... Or in the case of the whale, oil spills...

Breakie was a good load. The lady of the Manor after witnessing the teamies massacred her dinner last night decided to make extras. Goat whilst the staffs weren’t paying attention loaded a few muffins into his back pockets.

Since today ends at Clarens and the famous Golden Gate, the teamies were eager to get on the road. Except the Ninja, he wanted 28 photos taken with the staffs of Victorian Manor...

[2785 faithful, loyal and rabid fans: (confused) why so many photos and if you dare to tell us it will be revealed later we will reveal your eyes out of their sockets...]

[Ed.: (crapping himself) I don’t know, I swear! Two was enough, but Ninja wanted more, I swear! I don’t know why, noBOdy knows why!!!]

And another day begins on their sore asses. AT least the weather was playing along with a 100% cloud coverage... At least for 3 minutes... By now, everyone looks like women covered in skin care products. Except for the whale, he was prepared. Well prepared.

At least they won’t get lost today, straight on the R 103, passing Bethlehem to Clarens they go.

Just out of Frankfurt the teamies bumped into a huge group of cyclists who call themselves Sylvester Cycle Tour. Turns out Ninja did his first JHB to Durban Tour with them. Sylvesters specializes in the JHB to DBN tour and has been on this road since BObbie was wearing diapers. Mostly senile citizens, ladies and a China man?!!! Bobbie stared at him, he stared at BObbie, they circled around each other a bit and sniffed each other out and nothing happened...

However, this is team B.O., yep, you guessed it, they put on the gas and went ahead... Well, not for long. This is Team B.O. after all, they couldn’t get any sort of organization going for more than 4 seconds, pretty soon Sylvester with their support bus zoom passed the teamies and their support vehicles.

Never mind that though, because Ninja wanted a break. The teamies stopped at somewhere where a few dying trees offering them some sort of shades. If you hug each other, the shades will maybe cover all eight of them. No matter, the teamies unpacked the cars and started chomping...

Time to get back on the road... Oh wait, Ninja is not ready...

Several hours later...

Back on the road, the teamies rode past a half way stop with plenty shade and a shop selling ice cold cool drinks with Sylvesters all over it.

Teamies: (staring angry at Ninja) How is that you toured and planned the route with Sylvesters and you couldn’t direct us here?

Ninja: (chilled) But guys, you know... (and rambles on but not answering the question)...

Anyway, BObbie needs to mark the territory again...

Bobbie: (calling out to the Goat) Goatie, ju need to kak somewhere?

Goat: (snobbish) I only kak in die mielies...

After a couple of Ninja breaks Pluggie & BObbie has had enough.

Pluggie: (complaining) I am allergic to peanuts!!!

BObbie: (complaining) I am allergic to kak foods!!!

Goat: (caving in) fine, fine, we will stop at Bethlehem and grab some Wimpy.

BObbie: (whining) Wimpy is not real food...

Goat: (advil) I show you my wheel!

As the temperature rose to 39 celsius again, the teamies were happy to get some shade and some fake meat instead peanut butter and tuna. For some reason, Wimpy was packed and it took an hour just to feed the teamies.

Hearing there’s a pool at where they stay and Clarens is one of the most beautiful town in the country, the teamies are eager to get going.

Ninja: (chilled) please can I just finish this coke in hand?

Teamies: (chilled) sweet.

15 minutes later everyBOdy is still waiting for Ninja, turns out he ordered another coke. EveryBOdy restraining everyBOdy from raising a wheel at Ninja.

Eventually the wheels are turning again, with Sylvester no less.

With the sun baking, Tubs is turning orange. Pluggie luckily was on car duty. That leaves two of the newly formed best trio buddy for “rides” Tubs & BObbie up front and everyBOdy else at the back with Sylvester.

Tubs: (puffing & huffing) BObbie, I can’t take zies heat no more, let’s just ride on. I need that pool!!!

BObbie: (trying to swallow a donut) OK den...

The two teamies then started rotating towards Clarens. Except the road was not so kind after they made the right turn onto the long straight road up towards the Clarens valley. With a head wind around 30km/h.

BObbie: (crying) I can’t handle the wind!!!

Tubs: (determined) We are not gonna let them catch us now, it’s a break away, a break away!!!

Pluggie: (on radio) dudes, you guys got a break away, Whale and some guys are chasing!!! As long as the Goat is not chasing ju guys can do this!!!

So the two teamies soldiered on, two tummies draping on their top tube, low on water, none on food and heavy in the wind. Alas, eventually they arrived at the top of the hill leading into Clarens and the chasers never go to them. Happily, Tubs, BObbie rolled into Clarens with Pluggie in the support vehicle. Now if they can find out where the lodge is and that pool!

Pluggie: (hesitant) Er... Ju guys know that hill ju just rolled down?

By the time everyone arrived at the lodge, BObbie, Katy, Pluggie and Tubs have booked themselves some massage. Well, it’s also time for the pool, with the Sylvesters!!!

With them being rubbed, Goat, Whale, Dev 1 and Ninja headed to the famed Golden Gate for some pics! Then they went into town for dindin.