A Typical Day for a B.O.

A Typical Day for a B.O. - At Training

December 08, 2011

[Ed. note: we have been receiving a lot of letters from our 2785 rabid and loyal fans regarding their heroes and hero wannabes. The most common request our fans are asking is how do the B.O.'s train? What do they do in a typical training session. What is so special about these B.O.'s that they can get sponsored when thousands of amateurs can't? To answer your query, BONN follows the team's best rider and a VeeBee, the Goat on a Thursday and a routine 115 course. Goat is joined by 'Pa (or Horsey), BObbie (who we tried to convince him to not come as he is the worst image a team can portray, but he showed up anyway), Dev1 who he is developing (see, Team B.O. also helps the under developed by developing them, it's why people love B.O.'s), Lani and Dev 3 (Lani who refused to be outdone by the Goat adopted a Dev. He looks completely opposite to BObbie's super model looking Dev2, don't have long legs like Dev2, rides a BMX and weighs like a Whale. In other words, he's NOT Dev2). Because of the high speed that the B.O. rides, BONN reBOrter follows on a motorbike and endangers his life to bring you this special report.]

Knowing if I (ed. note: the reBOrter) was late for this, I would probably loose my job especially when i was explicitly told how punctual B.O.'s are. So I dragged my driver who will be steering the motorcycle today for me to the meeting point at 04h00. I was told the B.O.'s leave on time and if you are not there, they will leave without you. So although the team manager told me they will ride off at 04h30, I thought I better be early, spend some time with them, get to know them a little, see if they will drop their guard a bit when I ask some personal questions.

#$@#%@(#&(@&#^@)#*@(*#%^@...

Eventually at 05h03 the B.O.'s gathers. 'Pa is no where to be found. Lani confirms 'Pa thinks the pace is too fast and he doesn't want to be embarrassed in public. Dev3 was so excited to be on BONN he BOrrowed a Scotty for this occasion. He named it the "Black Sabbath"!!! Goat immediately smacks him in the back of the helmet. NoBOdy explains to Dev3 what just happened.

B.O.'s don't ride slow. My driver has a hard time keeping up with their pace. This is evident by the blurry photos I took and made interviewing them on the ride extremely dangerous and difficult.

B.O.'s ride so fast i can't keep my hands steady!!!

I approached the Lani (I was told he's the more accessible one, apparently the Goat slurps so you can't really understand what he is saying. The BObbie for some reason they won't tell me why he's difficult to hear. Something about he constantly staff something. I didn't want to take my chances) first.

Me: (trying to be professional) Good morning Mr. Lani. It's so good of you guys to take these palookas under your wings and help them mature as a cyclist. Tell me, what made you guys do this?

Lani: (sounds like a farmer) Ja nee, I adopted Dev3 because look at him, he's big and cuddly.

Me: (confused) Er... OK, next question, can you tell our viewers a little about today's route?

Lani: (robotic) Ja nee, you go down, you go up, you turn left, you go up, you turn left you go straight and you turn left again and you go down and then you go up and you go eat.

Me: (totally confused) Er?

Lani: (irate) Ag, you go down, you go...

Me: (quickly changing the topic) Er, that's OK, I got it, I got it. Mr. Lani, can you perhaps share some of your training secrets? Try to let our viewers know a little of what you guys do every day? What makes your training so special?

Lani: (points ahead) LOOK yourself.