The Race that is Jacaranda Satellite Classic

(Ed. note: This is a back dated post).


Before we get to the Race Report that was long delayed, BObbie and the Goat would like to point out that the new Jacaranda Satellite is a pussy race. Back in the good O'days when climbing Hekkies at the end of the race meant sumthing (like challenging the elite girls and get bitch slapped in the next 5m...). Subbing a 3 in the then Telkom Satellite meant sumthing. Now, BObbie's tummy could have rolled up Hekkies. Ha-Puey!


OK, back to the report.


It was Jacaranda Satellite day. Team B.O. showed up, raced, and went home.

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(Entire 2785 fan base blankly staring at their computer screen, jaws touching the keyboard and mind in shock...)

No, seriously folks, that's it. There is nothing more...

(One of the 2785 rabid and about to explode fan recovered from her shock and asked, in as politely a tone as she can muster: I waited for more than a month for this?!!!)

What do you expect? BOditor almost lost his life, twice, no one BOthered to write anything...

(2785 fans lost it, start throwing anything they can grab at the screen. On the other side of the screen, the BOditor is chewning "come, come, ju missed, ja, bring it, bring it!")

Just chaos...

And that basically described the race that is Jacaranda Satellite Classics for Team B.O. and since they lost BObbie/BOink/BOar/BOditor in 2 crashes within 2 weeks, no one was there to fabricate nadda. We will try to make it up as we browse through sum photos.

'Pa showing everyone how you should race. After all, enough messing around. It's time to be serious about your racing. Even if the CycleLab guy is riding group Z.

'Pa showing everyone how you should work together up a hill. You don't sit on noBOdy's wheels, you don't offer anyBOdy your wheels, you just ride like a tjop trying to show everyone who's the men.

 The happy bunch. OK, maybe not 'Pa, but at least he pretends to be happy. And yes, that's Crap on the far right, our fearless leader. The only idiot who races but don't train (or at least he binge drinks & chain smokes). There are suspicions he ordered the hit on BObbie for BObbie's race number. The R 180.00 saving goes towards Uncle Jack and his pet Camel.

 Stache: hehehehehehehe...

(Yep, you noticed too huh? Stache never says much and is always smiling. But our female and under aged readers found it uncomfortable when he smiles, we not sure why).

And ju guys complain about BObbie? LOOK at zies Lani, chubby cheeks, popping tummy, he's as bad as zhat BObbie!!!

 Crap adjusting his piece... Er... His bike, his bike, typo, typo!!!

Pluggie: (declaring) I am in race shape.

Entire Team B.O.: (declaring) you & BObbie are hence forth known as the Chubby Twins... (then looking at Lani) OK, Chubby Triplets...

Ninja doing his pre-race ritual. Yep, the idiot, he pinned his number up side down and will be punished. We will do that as soon as he untangles his piece from the fence.

(Side note: ju guys really shouldn't complain. Ninja at least turns his back at you, Goat & BObbie likes to face you and swing their GIGANTIC  LARGE PIECES and pretends it's a tommy gun and singing whilst they spreads it...)

 Zie Goat was the first one back, but the dumb ass forgot the watermelons (In his defense, he did bring the cooler box, albeit empty. Cum to think of it, DUMB ASS!!!).

 Goat was also holding an umbrella to hide away from the sun. Ninja & Tubs showed him how it's done.

 And sent the Goat to go fetch sum ice...

(Note to new applicunts like Appl 4. Below is a demonstration of how to get your B.O. status in a flesh.  Er... I meant flash).

Ladies and Gentlemen, This is how you get B.O. status pre-approved. We welcum Mr. roBOcop!!! Who was on his way to beat up his son Pluggie. Grease that joint, grease that joint!!! Oh wait, he's stuck... never mind...