The Final Preparation

And as we get close to the BEEG one... The Momentum 94 Cycle Challenge... The panic starts...

Craptain: (panicking) Action station, action station, women and children first!!! Where the hell is my FELT?!!!
Lani: (panic) BObbie, quick, what else can I buy?!!!
Goat: (epileptic) meh...
'Pa: (advil) I did not train enough, I feel weak, I need more hours!!!
Panda: (secretively whispering) hey Lani, ju mentioned ju have some good stuff?
Pluggie: (drunk) hey barman, ju mentioned ju have sum good stuff, hic?
'Tall: (nervous) I didn't do my intervals!!!!!
Katy: (determined) I am gonna 'beat' the crap out of the Crap!!!
Taliban: (praying)...
Whale: (sniffing)...
Larry: (steaming) I am following the Lani way and I bought a new GIANT!!!
Ninja: (stealthy) I show BObbie real white lightning!
Tubs: (weeping) vok zies BObbie, his curse!!!
Stache: (smirking) hehehehehehe...
BOmie: (giving up) 94? what's a 94?
BObbie: (scratches his arse, picks his nose, burps and then farts, a wet one)...
Dev 1: (studying)...
Applicunt 4: (confused) why would BObbie scratches his arse, picks his nose, burps and then farts a wet one?

Fearing he may have done too little, ok, very little, ok, actually no training, the Crap decided to call a team training the weekend before the 94.

Crap: (orders) I want everyone there and each must take turns to tow me!!!!!

The following were excused. Katy who is feuding with the Crap and is 3-2 up on their duels refused to tow the Crap. Pluggie who was drunk and missed his flight and was stuck in Cape Town. Whale who oops, was not informed, Taliban who had to work and BOmie who doesn't know what a bicycle is.

So on a hot & steamy day and for a record number showing, the teammies gathered at sum pathetic excuse for a restaurant of their annual 94 route pretentious ride. Upon arriving, Dev 1 sneezed and was banned. Panda was banned too and we still do not know why. Anyway, the two had to drive support.

Crap: (serious) Give me a team photo!

Team B.O.: wala, wala (Bobbie scratching ass)...

Lani: wala, wala...

 Yep, we need 3 shot to get it right, you don't want to know what happens on a race day...

Anyway, as usual, the Lani was late and 'Tall brought her new Tag Alone. Tag Alone brought her hubbie, her hubby brought Bionic Tag Alone. Finally the teammies rolled out of sum pathetic excuse for a restaurant, heading towards town. Also showed up, the long lost Een. He's all happy and chubby!

 Is that ETAP?!!!

 Holy crap he's huge!!!

 Is that 'Pa?

 'Pa just can't help it being advil.

 'Pa engaging in a serias conversation with New Tag Alone's hubby.

 Another angle of the ETAP, yep, he's fat.

Lani: wala, wala! 

 Lani: Cavendish is my lead out!

 Stache: hehehehehehehe...

 ETAP: (excited) Hey, Mickey D!!! Let me at it, let me at it!

 BObbie's first ride after the two failed murder attempt, he's looking a bit gloomy...

 BObbie had to wear a sleeve to protect his elb... holy crap that's a big tummy!!!

 Applicunt 4: (excited) I can't believe I am riding with my heroes!!!

 Tubs giving Applicunt 4 sum series advise on how to get B.O. status.

Ninja plotting his next attempt...

 Leading Team B.O. are the girls!!!

 And the girls!!!

 And the girls!!!

 And the girls!!!

(SumBOdy complained: No more girls!!!)

The teammies happily rode toward town, climbed back up Jan Smut and crossed Empire, up Hospital Hill, down Joe Slovo, through the streets of Johannesburg C.B.D., up Madiba Bridge an dreads towards Rosebank and the Crap has had enough...

Taking away Madiba form 94 is sacrilege.

After Crap had rested, Een had to go home with his wife finding out he was with Team B.O., the teammies continued up Jan Smut and towards Witkoppen without him. BObbie having ate too maach burst his rear tyre. BObbie blames it on his luck (saddle, punctures, chain, crashes, you name it, BObbie have it), rest of team B.O. blames his weight. Since BObbie fat fingers are just too fat to grab his spares, the Crap ordered Ninja, 'Tall & Applicunt 4 to change tubes, the rest of the team will wait at Witkoppen.

The gang repaired the puncture and off they went. BUT (yes, why are you surprised) the BObbie curse is an evil one. Not after 5m the gang heard a bang. Applicunt 4's rear popped. Ninja proceeded to repair another puncture whilst applicant 4 watches confusedly. 'Tall beats BObbie for good measure. By now the Crap has had enough again. He leads the team on and left Larry & the Goat to wait.

Larry & Goat: (bothered) Why us?

Crap: (matter of factly) I randomly selected...

Back at the puncture gang, 'Tall just realized she's been conned. The 2 brand new CO2 canisters were "conisters". Luckily the Team Car had spares. By now the Ninja is so late he had to go home. The gangs picked up grumpy Larry and slurppy Goat on Witkoppen and heads home. Poor Applicunt 4 by now is finished...

Eventually the gang arrived back and joined the Crap for another breakie. New Tag Alone's Hubbie and Bionic Tag Alone wonders why Team B.O. eats so much.

One week to go!

P.S. How do we rate a restaurant? When you ask the waiter for a glass to drink water more than 3 times politely after more than 10 minutes and the manager who came to apologize still forgot about your order. You know it's time to leave and never return...

BObbie got sick & tired of waiting for a glass...