Race for Victory - 'Pa Edition.
(Warning: If you are under the age of 45, who has issues with 21 SNLV, anger managements, chronic heart disease, diabetes. You should not read this.)
The day before R4V:
On Saturday 24 September Team Bo decided to go for an “easy” relaxing leg breakie ride. BOpa left his house at 05:40 to be on time and meet the team at Muggs for a 06:00 start. As usual, the COCONUT was late and we had to wait 15 minutes for him (Entire Team BO: Seriously?! Really?!! How is that you don't know this? How did you get your Animal Farm?). We eventually left and went up HP to Ontdekkers. The ride was very relaxing and the fat BObbie (Ed. note: Fat is an understatement...) kept on trying to ride hard and trying to hurt BOpa. 'Pa not interested and enjoyed the ride. ThemBO and Labia wanted to show off the WORS and bitch slapped each other. At 30km ‘PA asking WTF, is this not a short ride? Trying to behave and support the team ‘Pa continued with the ride and was pissed. BObbie again think he is the second best sprinter and challenged BOpa to a sprint. NEED I SAY MORE, he got his ass kicked by a very pissed off BUSHIE. Not knowing, it was ‘Tall and fat BObbie’s plan to make ‘Pa work hard and be faaaaked for R4V race. Again the others sprinted down Kruger with winds that “skrik for nothing”. BOpa tried chasing them down but ‘Tall gave us the Tampax sign and kicked BObbie’s ass on a downhill. At Feather’s hill, BObbie challenged the angry Bushie, NEED I SAY MORE? He got his ass kicked AGAIN.
The team ended up at sMuggs Ruimsig where we enjoyed some real k@k service. The company was good and made up for the ADVIL manager (Ed. note: There is a lot of anger here...).
R4V Race Day:
BOpa was up early (Ed note: he is old you know...) and arrived at the venue 05:45 with starting time of 06:25. It was cold and the wind was showing us that mother nature is king over cyclist. BOpa tried contacting some COCONUT to check where he is. The agreement was, “meet you at the start, with A bunch”. NEED I SAY MORE. The COCONUT did not answer his phone. BOpa waited for the BOthemBO and missed his start. BOpa thinking, BLOODY COCONUT, ALWAYS F%&6ing LATE.
The gun went and BOpa sitting with the leaders of B. The race continued and the start was, well, let’s just say it was tough sitting with the front ESMARO guys. At 3km, one idiot tried to avoid a pothole and almost ran ‘Pa off the road. At about 10km there was a break away and ‘Pa manage to stay with the break away. It was like a yoyo, fast, slow, fast, slow. Team Esmero worked like a real team and was controlling the group. The pace increased and some were dropped. I over took the elite ladies (Goat & BObbie: no, no, don't do it, don't, dude, seriously, don't do... you did it didn't you...) and the Marshal on the bike was great [looking] (Goat: yes, yes, I added in that...). The elite ladies was not happy (Goat & BObbie: now you've done it...) that we overtook them and came back over taking us. They actually just f%<*#@ up our race (Team BO: 'Pa, maybe if you tried some Advil?). They stayed with us until 5km before Suikerbosrand. At the gate of the resort, 15 guys broke away, BOpa sitting in the group, with the Elite ladies in front of us, realize that there is a break away, change gear and tried chasing them down, too late and I found myself alone with head winds that make 21 MEGA WORS shrink to 2.1. IT WAS PAINFUL. BOpa hanging in at finished Suikerbos all by himself. I picked up a gay from A and asked him if we can [hump] (Goat: ok, ok, so I did it again...) together. I have to admit, this was the BEST [period] in the race and BEST [rotating] I ever did in a race. We picked up another Cycle Lab dude and we were racing at 40 – 45 km/h for about 30km. 10 kms to go some faaaaker from VA joined us but was not willing to work. I told him that if he not willing to work he must piss off or I stick him with my bottle. He was so shocked, he worked twice and was faaaaaked. We dropped him and finished the race in 13TH position with a time of 3:05. This race is not for people that drink Latte. It is for real men that drink Cappuccino with heart shaped milk on the top.
Then I went home and got some anger management (Goat: ok, ok, I will stop it now...)!!!
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