Accusations!!!
Attention, attention. We have a serious matter at hand! Because the editor in chef (no, that's not a spelling mistake) is deeply involved in this, we need all your judgements in the matter as this is a "serias" matter!
Zies morning BOlani, BOpunda, BOic & BObbie was set to challenge BOic & BObbie's 113 record over 37km loop (or 112 over 36km loop). BObbie was late as usual and because BObbie was late, the timer started at Honda which means today's loop is 35km. Working off averages from the Garmin you need to beat 111 to break the record but the team did it in 113.
Immediately after the ride a formal complaint was lodged at UCI's office from BOlani.
Zies morning BOlani, BOpunda, BOic & BObbie was set to challenge BOic & BObbie's 113 record over 37km loop (or 112 over 36km loop). BObbie was late as usual and because BObbie was late, the timer started at Honda which means today's loop is 35km. Working off averages from the Garmin you need to beat 111 to break the record but the team did it in 113.
Immediately after the ride a formal complaint was lodged at UCI's office from BOlani.
Dear Chairman of the UCI,
I/we (BOpunda and I) would like to file a formal complaint against your previously ELITE and currently dis-advantaged riders “BObbie” and “BOic” for plotting to defend their title of the 112 despite our efforts as a 4 men team this time to crack possibly a 111.
We were still at Westgate when I should “1 Hour” and the “Busturds” pretended to pedal hard which got my heart rate up as I was excited for some action and eventually noticed I was being robbed every 3rd stroke with a bit of a free wheel or “PLAY PLAY” pedal here and there.
This is totally un-professional and unacceptable conduct as an “ELITELESS” rider especially when your fellow team mates potentially should have “BO’d” due to lack of sleep and should be punished by way of “Anal Bleaching” and riding without saddles.
Kindly review our complaint and revert with the necessary steps to ensure such behaviour is taken off the road.
Regards “Poeslani”
BOic & BObbie upon hearing the news released a press statement together and refused to answer reporter's further queries.
We wish to comment on BOpunda & BOlani's accusation earlier on with UCI this morning regarding us back pedaling. We categorically deny the accusation. We have hired a lawyer who is also representing Mr. Fraud Landis to defend our man hoods and anals. We further wish to point out that on Krugers BOlani was reserving energy and on Ontdekkers BOpunda was reserving energy. In our eliteness' view it's dem who was slowing the pace down. Mr. BObbie further would like to add that he has an aero seatpost and it won't fit. We will not comment on this issue further and we will let the UCI decide on the matter. But BOic would also like to add another comment in that he thinks that there is no proof he & BObbie were back pedaling. BObbie further would like to add that he did not have a donut zies morning.
Since this was a serias matter and it was lodged with UCI, we need your vote on the poll so we can decide BOic & BObbie's anal fate.
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