The Arms Race Report - The Lani Smack Down!!!!
Lani took a deep breath, gathered his thoughts, LOOKed to his wife and kids for courage (the fact that he can't find them is another matter entirely...).
This, is, war.
On the other side, The last of the challengers is Tubs, who along the way, flattened the Crap (who FELT the F2), Kicked the BObbie (who knew his TIME is over), squeezed the Goat (who tried quantity over quality), bowled over the Papa (who ain't so Specialized no more), kneed the Panada (LOOKed to a 'Dale) and whacked the Lolly (a Giant loss) is now the only one standing thumping his chest like King Kong with yet another LOOK.
Has Lani got anything left?
Slowly Lani pulls the seat post out of his NSFW or anywhere else place, wiped the blood clean, stab it into the ground as if to declare he will not accept defeat, he will not back down and he will not, and he repeat, not be taken down by a Karbona, or a Scott, or a Colnago and definitely not a LOOK 585 especially when he was taming the headless beast that is the 695.
With what little strength he has, Lani grabbed the last of his weapon and smacked Tubs right across his face and laid Tubs to waste...
This, is, war.
On the other side, The last of the challengers is Tubs, who along the way, flattened the Crap (who FELT the F2), Kicked the BObbie (who knew his TIME is over), squeezed the Goat (who tried quantity over quality), bowled over the Papa (who ain't so Specialized no more), kneed the Panada (LOOKed to a 'Dale) and whacked the Lolly (a Giant loss) is now the only one standing thumping his chest like King Kong with yet another LOOK.
Has Lani got anything left?
Slowly Lani pulls the seat post out of his NSFW or anywhere else place, wiped the blood clean, stab it into the ground as if to declare he will not accept defeat, he will not back down and he will not, and he repeat, not be taken down by a Karbona, or a Scott, or a Colnago and definitely not a LOOK 585 especially when he was taming the headless beast that is the 695.
With what little strength he has, Lani grabbed the last of his weapon and smacked Tubs right across his face and laid Tubs to waste...
Lani: (bragging out of his nostrils) LOOK? LOOK? LOOK what lah? How's about you LOOK at my Bianchi Oltre, Bike of the year you LOOK...
Lani: (carries on) That's right! Titanium Crank shaft I LOOK, Campagnolo EPS I LOOK, electronic shifting I LOOK. You, you LOOK LOOK lah!
Lani: (thumping chest with four fingers) See that? Yeah, LOOK ma, no cables!!! What's that? You say there is cables?!!! I no see.
Lani: (made a pistol gesture a la Spanish Beef and shot in the direction of Tubs and Lolly) now I can brake proper!!!
(Ed. note: (sarcastic) yep, you guessed it, BOditor is not a fan of Shitram, latest Red Edition excluded. Because according to the BOditor, the chain ring flexes, the chain slips, the brakes can't hold your wee and they only invented the double shift so they are at least one thing different to a Shitmano. Why don't you just get a Shitmano?)
Lani: (doing the Malema dance) And the crazy Bianchi design, pure Italian (totally ignore the fact that it's made in Taiwan)!!!
Lani: (clearly on fire right now) Yeah Tubs, wait till I shove this seat post up your "beep"!!!
Lani: (doing the Hitler) Salute the eagle!!!
Lani: (beginning to loose his grip) Yeah BObbie, can your Super Record grip like this?!!!
Lani: (white foams coming out of his lips) LOOK down there I LOOK!!! And yes, you LOOKed right, that's a Bora Ultra Two you just LOOKed!!!
Lani: (had a stroke and fainted) One last LOOK...
Comments
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is that BREAK or BRAKE?