Restaurant Review - Cazzo Dio Porco "Lucius"!
After D2D (Ed. Notes: Yes, yes, where the heck is the race report? Well, it is up to 'Pa and Punda to publish as the BOditor is just too jinxed. It will come, eventually, like how they climbed Sterkies...) the team (Except the Goat who practically creamed a 2h30 and went back to do it again. Entire team curses him) decided that lack of proper fuel is the issue for such poor showing. They gathered to source more Italian restaurant to benefit the cycling community.
Punda: (suggestive) Guys, guys, I heard that the Lucius is a restaurant that has been there forever and it's owned by genuine Italians and has great atmosphere and it's extremely popular and it's always full and you have to make a booking or you won't get served.
Ninja: (matter of factly) Ja, ja, I been there, twice.
Goat: (spits) Ha-puey!
BObbie: (snickers) So's the Spur.
Lani: (stating) I don't eat where I have to book.
Punda: (upset) You guys are so snobbish and never listen to what I have to say.
'Pa: (didn't hear Punda) What did you say?
BObbie: I say we eat at Luca's. Goat & I have approved it.
Goat: Zies is tru, ja. But I don't eat commercial Italian. I say we hit Hyde park and...
Punda: (interrupts & protests) But I am the one who is organizing this!!!!!
Rest of the Team B.O.: Fine, fine... Italian Spur it is...
So on a glorious night, an almost full squad heads toward the reputable Lucius. Tubs who is still constipating (Ed. note: dude, seriously, just eat some veges!!!) and Pluggie who is still talking couldn't make it.
Goat arrived first for no reason at all. Then BOtall shows up with Tag Along 1. He's rather nervous and intimidated by Goat's 19. Then surprisingly BObbie showed up with his 21, almost on time and maintains his record of never on time. This almost drove Tag Along 1 into tears. Luckily Punda showed up with Tag Along 2 (Ed. note: Team B.O. would like to extend their welcum to Tag Along 2 and assures her that last night they were on their best behaviour.). Katy & 'Pa then arrived next. Followed by Ninja, Ninja's 1/2 and Ninjatjie. Choochoo also arrived with BObride and finally, Lani, BOwife and BObaby 1.
Goat & BObbie immediately went to work. The Wors Club Twins found the restaurant well decorated and fitting, the amount of customers staggering and a menu with pretty conservative menu and are legitimately owned by Italians. the Team also found difficulty with parking space. a tad annoying but evident of a popular joint.
Punda: (proud of himself) See, what did I chewn ju guys?
Goat: (nods in approval).
BObbie: (cynical) But can they cook?
BOtall: (prepared) I brought donuts.
With promising thoughts, the Team ordered a variety of choices. The Wors Club Twins with such heavy burdens on their wors, decided to really test the restaurant. They made up a pizza and asked for a house recommended pasta dish.
With such joyous moods, the teammies would really like to have a party, but with BOwife, BObride, Ninja 1/2 and Tag 2 present, they had to behave like English gentlemen. Punda was thankful to the team for saving him "face".
Besides, the team is about to indulge in some fine Italian cuisine soon.
Real soon...
Pretty soon...
Soon...
Hopefully soon enough...
Punda: (defensive) LOOK chaps, LOOK how busy they are. just LOOK.
BObbie: (gave Punda a LOOK).
Goat: (Started eating donuts...)
'Pa: (trying hard to calm himself) I want to be a gentlemen.
And the wait continues... Like the D2D race report... Like the Argus Diary...
The next day, BObbie finally couldn't take it. He chewned the waitress!!!
BObbie: (advil) You guys still milking the cow or salting the bacon for the pasta sauce?
Waitress: (making excuses) It's being taking off the pan now, I swear...
Goat: (swore).
'Pa: (behaving badly) %@(*#&@^%#*@)#(*(@&^#)#*@)(#*^&$&)@#(@#^(@#*&!!!
Finally the food arrived. The gangs are so hungry they immediately dived into their plates. However the Wors CLub Twins still has a job to do.
BObbie used his fork and lifted the pasta, no water. magnifico! The wait might just be worth...
Goat: (screaming) Pan fried?!!!!! No dignified Italian pan fries a pizza!!!! Am I in New York?!!! If I wanted Pizza Hut I'd go to Pizza Hut!!!!
BObbie: (throwing a tantrum) Al dente!!! Al dente!!! If I wanted porridge I'd get ProNutro!!!
Lani: (disgusted) I know I need omega 3, but this is overcooked cream (Ed. note: Zie Lani actually used a more accurate word of similar colour. But this is a family restaurant after all)!
And the only reason the teammies swallows is because they have been held without food since the night before. 'Pa tried to salvage the situation and asked for gelati to calm down the BObbie. It was served melted.
Entire Team B.O.: (Angrily LOOKing at the Punda and swallows...)
Punda: (Too afraid to say anything...)
Tag 2: (slowly moving her chair away from the Punda...)
The Good
- It's better than Pizza Hut.
- Good family atmosphere if you like the Spur and have no idea what real Italian food is.
- If you consider Sicily Italy.
- Ingredient used are acceptable.
The Bad
- Pasta was either over cooked or under cooked.
- Waitress had no idea what Pepperoni is.
- Too little staffs and timing obviously an issue.
- No real idea what Italian food is or have been living in New York for too long.
The Ugly
- Ninja actually is the only teammie who tried the restaurant twice and hated it. He thought to share his experience with his pals. Ninja is to be punished.
Team B.O. Rating
- It gets a horse head at the door.
Punda: (suggestive) Guys, guys, I heard that the Lucius is a restaurant that has been there forever and it's owned by genuine Italians and has great atmosphere and it's extremely popular and it's always full and you have to make a booking or you won't get served.
Ninja: (matter of factly) Ja, ja, I been there, twice.
Goat: (spits) Ha-puey!
BObbie: (snickers) So's the Spur.
Lani: (stating) I don't eat where I have to book.
Punda: (upset) You guys are so snobbish and never listen to what I have to say.
'Pa: (didn't hear Punda) What did you say?
BObbie: I say we eat at Luca's. Goat & I have approved it.
Goat: Zies is tru, ja. But I don't eat commercial Italian. I say we hit Hyde park and...
Punda: (interrupts & protests) But I am the one who is organizing this!!!!!
Rest of the Team B.O.: Fine, fine... Italian Spur it is...
So on a glorious night, an almost full squad heads toward the reputable Lucius. Tubs who is still constipating (Ed. note: dude, seriously, just eat some veges!!!) and Pluggie who is still talking couldn't make it.
Goat arrived first for no reason at all. Then BOtall shows up with Tag Along 1. He's rather nervous and intimidated by Goat's 19. Then surprisingly BObbie showed up with his 21, almost on time and maintains his record of never on time. This almost drove Tag Along 1 into tears. Luckily Punda showed up with Tag Along 2 (Ed. note: Team B.O. would like to extend their welcum to Tag Along 2 and assures her that last night they were on their best behaviour.). Katy & 'Pa then arrived next. Followed by Ninja, Ninja's 1/2 and Ninjatjie. Choochoo also arrived with BObride and finally, Lani, BOwife and BObaby 1.
Goat & BObbie immediately went to work. The Wors Club Twins found the restaurant well decorated and fitting, the amount of customers staggering and a menu with pretty conservative menu and are legitimately owned by Italians. the Team also found difficulty with parking space. a tad annoying but evident of a popular joint.
Punda: (proud of himself) See, what did I chewn ju guys?
Goat: (nods in approval).
BObbie: (cynical) But can they cook?
BOtall: (prepared) I brought donuts.
With promising thoughts, the Team ordered a variety of choices. The Wors Club Twins with such heavy burdens on their wors, decided to really test the restaurant. They made up a pizza and asked for a house recommended pasta dish.
With such joyous moods, the teammies would really like to have a party, but with BOwife, BObride, Ninja 1/2 and Tag 2 present, they had to behave like English gentlemen. Punda was thankful to the team for saving him "face".
Besides, the team is about to indulge in some fine Italian cuisine soon.
Real soon...
Pretty soon...
Soon...
Hopefully soon enough...
Punda: (defensive) LOOK chaps, LOOK how busy they are. just LOOK.
BObbie: (gave Punda a LOOK).
Goat: (Started eating donuts...)
'Pa: (trying hard to calm himself) I want to be a gentlemen.
And the wait continues... Like the D2D race report... Like the Argus Diary...
The next day, BObbie finally couldn't take it. He chewned the waitress!!!
BObbie: (advil) You guys still milking the cow or salting the bacon for the pasta sauce?
Waitress: (making excuses) It's being taking off the pan now, I swear...
Goat: (swore).
'Pa: (behaving badly) %@(*#&@^%#*@)#(*(@&^#)#*@)(#*^&$&)@#(@#^(@#*&!!!
Finally the food arrived. The gangs are so hungry they immediately dived into their plates. However the Wors CLub Twins still has a job to do.
BObbie used his fork and lifted the pasta, no water. magnifico! The wait might just be worth...
Goat: (screaming) Pan fried?!!!!! No dignified Italian pan fries a pizza!!!! Am I in New York?!!! If I wanted Pizza Hut I'd go to Pizza Hut!!!!
BObbie: (throwing a tantrum) Al dente!!! Al dente!!! If I wanted porridge I'd get ProNutro!!!
Lani: (disgusted) I know I need omega 3, but this is overcooked cream (Ed. note: Zie Lani actually used a more accurate word of similar colour. But this is a family restaurant after all)!
And the only reason the teammies swallows is because they have been held without food since the night before. 'Pa tried to salvage the situation and asked for gelati to calm down the BObbie. It was served melted.
Entire Team B.O.: (Angrily LOOKing at the Punda and swallows...)
Punda: (Too afraid to say anything...)
Tag 2: (slowly moving her chair away from the Punda...)
The Good
- It's better than Pizza Hut.
- Good family atmosphere if you like the Spur and have no idea what real Italian food is.
- If you consider Sicily Italy.
- Ingredient used are acceptable.
The Bad
- Pasta was either over cooked or under cooked.
- Waitress had no idea what Pepperoni is.
- Too little staffs and timing obviously an issue.
- No real idea what Italian food is or have been living in New York for too long.
The Ugly
- Ninja actually is the only teammie who tried the restaurant twice and hated it. He thought to share his experience with his pals. Ninja is to be punished.
Team B.O. Rating
- It gets a horse head at the door.
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