The Wilro
The Wilro, a 114km race that is flat but with sweeping wind everywhere. The race where the Goat thought he would kill of his teammies and instead, got wasted by the peloton and tossed out like a used condom. The race where BObbie thought he could hang with the Goat and was tossed as a condom 60km in the race. Regardless, this was not a very happy race for both.
Lani still in deep remorse is still in BOwife’s arms. Pitt, still drunk is still in some girl’s arms (It was Katy’s, Katy’s!!!). Goat, Panda, BOpa and BObbie though, decided to use this opportunity to win the group at long distance as it is a goal for Team BO to be able to do so. The Applicants, not for one to miss any chance to ride with Team BO, happily joined.
Goat rocked up at BObbie’s at 05h19 and chowed his food and crapped in his toilet, without flushing. The two then rocked up at Fournos at the request of the Panda by 06h15. As per protocol, no one was there.
BObbie: (Blaming) Idiot.
Goat: (Remorse) %$#@&*^#@(#)@#^@#(…
BOpa rocked up next and Panda was even later. However, they do not see the Applicants.
BOpa: (On mobile, screaming) Where the heck are the two of you?!!!
The Applicants: (Scared) But the protocol…
BOpa: (Cut them off short) I “protocol” jou “beep”, “beep”, “beep”!!!!!
Cold and shivering, Team BO lined up at group D and as usual, making lots of noises whilst the Goat was showing them how to stretch. The rest of Group D wondered why they are here. Ignoring the D group, the team decided that the Applicants will again, hold the pelotons back whilst Team BO is aiming to win the race and will control the peloton.
Side note: Last year the Goat had his iPod stripped away by the officials. This year, he is more clever, ne? He hid the pod somewhere no one can see (let’s just say it’s between cheeks and his chamois).
As they were released, the D group rode out watching Team BO, all four of them. Except none of them made any moves, they just slowly clipped in their cleats and slowly rode out. Confused, a bunch of D groupers started riding out of the Tarlton Race Track onto the road, Team BO gently followed them. This had the D groupers mystified and confused. Soon some youngster (he is now referred as The Tjop for the way he rode) attacked and the peloton followed. The Goat looked back at the Pretending Craptain BObbie and got the “We do nadda” sign and Team BO continued to follow them but still did nothing.
D group is freaking out and quickens the pace. Eventually they thought Team BO were just palookas and decided to throw in some pace. The Tjop continued to power up every so called hills but realizing D groups can’t keep up and Team BO still are ignoring him. He decided to chase down the palookas in C and off he went. Team BO still ignoring him.
D group soon arrive at the top of Hekkies. D pelotons immediately raced hard down. Team BO still calm and rode down safely. At the foot of Hekkies, Team BO found the attackers. The attackers now realized they rather not be clever and ride with Team BO rather.
However, problem soon surfaced. Mostly likely due to the new bike built and bumps down Hekkies, BObbie doesn’t see BOpa anywhere and went back to the second peloton.
BObbie: What’s wrong?
BOpa: I am struggling, I can’t keep up. I have no idea why though.
BObbie: No matter, probably just not warm yet. Jump on my wheel, let’s get back up front.
BObbie then radioed the Applicants to block the 2nd peloton and BOpa and him bridged back to the Goat & Panda up front.
However, BOpa’s front brake caliper was off center and his brake pads were rubbing on his rim. BOpa not the tech savvy guy had no idea why he is struggling and was soon dropped. Stranded on the side of the road like a tool without a tool. He can only wait for the Applicants to bring him a tool.
Upfront, The Tjop kinda realized he’s the Tjop as the front of D group along with Team BO just joined him and some C groupers. He immediately tries to break away. Team BO continues to ignore him and watch him fall back to them, like a tjop. The break away group is now about 12 in numbers.
At the 65km mark, a Bionic guy touched wheels and crashed, blocking Panda. Up front was the Goat, the Tjop, BObbie and the Lucky Guy who got his rear wheel touched. BObbie thought Panda was behind him radioed the Goat to go.
The Lucky Guy thinking Team BO are the pros asked BObbie who’s fault it was and only now did BObbie realized Panda was blocked by the crash. At only 65km, you can’t leave a teammie behind. BObbie radioed Goat to slow down the group and wait for them whilst he went to fetch the Panda. Luckily the Panda managed to avoid the crash. The two teamies worked together and soon got back to the Goat. Now there are only 5 of them.
The little group soon caught up to a bunch of B and C guys and a Strong Guy decided the pace was too slow and started towing hard. The Strong Guy get Team BO’s respect and Goat took over. Not willing for his team leader to work too long, BObbie signaled the Goat to sit back and he took over. But Team BO aren’t willing to put down the pace. Soon the strong guy got back up front again. Panda decided he’s dangerous and marked him. BObbie marked the Tjop and Goat rested.
At 10km to go, BObbie radioed Goat to get ready. At the 5km mark, the rest of the group now at least 20 is getting edgy and are working their way up front. BObbie seeing Panda is strong and marking the Strong Guy up front radioed the Goat to join Panda and wait till they get inside the raceway before he attacks and he needs to attack earlier since he’s not a pure sprinter. BObbie will attempt to block the Tjop. 2km to go.
At 1.6km, the Strong Guy after doing so much work faded. Panda seizing the opportunity attacked. Way earlier than BObbie & Goat anticipated. Rest of the peloton reacted and followed. Goat had to follow. The Tjop who was in front of BObbie also jumped with BObbie chasing his wheel instead of blocking him.
The group rode as hard as they could and turned onto the raceway. By now, they are breaking apart. Goat having to go early is running low. Panda is riding as hard as he could. The Tjop managed to get onto Goat’s wheel is challenging the goat for the win. BObbie ran out of gas and cramped out.
But the Goat is not the Goat for nothing. He flexed his hairs and got the win over the Tjop. Panda followed in immediately with BObbie not far behind. Later, they found the Tjop was from E group and was disqualified.
And Team BO managed their first ever LDGW (Long Distance Group Win).
However, they were later informed by the NSM that their sponsor didn’t anticipate so many wins and had not prepared so many sponsorships. No matter, they will still receive little blue pills, orange pills, orange pills!!!
Maybe Team BO is ready to challenge a group win at C group next.
Comments