Blitzkrieg!!! (Austrian Edition)

FRAME: LOOK 595 Ultra 2009.
GROUPSET: Shitmano Dura-Ace 7900, 175:53/39, 12/23.
WHEELS: Vokrim Racing 3.
SADDLE: Fizik Arione (to be replaced by San Marco Mantra).
BAR/STEM: 44cm FSA K-Force Light Compact/ 80mm KCNC Scandium.
BUILDER: BOchanic.
SETUP: Someone who sold him a bar that cost more than his wheels.

PURPOSE: To propel The Panda to almighty victory, put to shame all campy-touting bike snobs, defeat the yellow peril, punish the climbs, herd mountain goats, kick the DOGma, tune someone the TIME, outpower the Swazi tractor, lern the bras, close down breakaways, take down tandems, crack a sub3 at the Argus, create bike envy amongst the lesser mortals and finally get the girl with her own bike shop and brewery.


*   *   *   *   *

Crap: "Beeping" BObbie conned me!!!
Goat: (munching grass, don't really care)...
Le Train: Choo choo...
Lani: Woof, woof (where's the glitter?)...
Pitt: You wait till I get my Chorus!
Bushie: You just wait till I get my bonus!
Katy: It's Campy & Bianchi and nothing else.
BOtall: Hey, LOOK here, LOOK guys, I also ride a LOOK!!! Will you guys LOOK!!!
Whale: I can't see straight (whales' eyes are on the side), but that's not Campy.
Bladder: What real race has LOOK won again?
BOmie: I won with Schwinn. 
BObbie: I think you bought a size too big, the stem is too short, you need LOOK bottle cages, perhaps red LOOK cleat, the wheel needs to be French and you definitely needs Campy...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Argus Live Update Stream 9

Image
And the BOys are back... well, at least some of them... Eish... Eish... Eish... Eish... Eish... Argus is B.O.'s nemesis, unless you still out there like Waala and Lani... And you don't wanna see the depressed Pa... We leave you with a video best describe the Sub 3 attempting B.O.'s... Somewhere along the route of Argus, Lani and Waala is still at it... Remember him? After the photo session the dude left in pain... There is always TIME for another croissant...  Waala is loved by all... Last year BObbie got BOsted by an uber hot babe who refuses to do this for him... How's the Sub 3 going? This is what you miss if you ride fast!!! Maybe it's TIME for another cuppa... Lani and Waala rode so slow their shadow passed them... Ah... that's the spot! What is Lani spotting?  Whale spotting!!! Er... NSFW? We don't know when these two will be back... Oh, this just in,
Read more

The Arms Race Report - Goatie Gone Mad Edition

Image
Goatie: (tongue slipping and drooling) Who more bike than I?!!! Goatie: (cheers) All together now, raBObi, raBObi. BObbie: (snickers) Ra is the Egyptian Sun God, but ju only need to call me once, I hear. Goatie: (declaring) The  Spider Bike! Lani: (snickers) So I stick BObaby 1's Ben 10 sticker on my bike I call my bike The Ben 10 Bike? Goatie: (stating) Single BOttle cage. Spiderman drinks cement milk shakes. Marvel: (confused) He does? Goatie: (shouting) Spidercage! EveryBOdy: (turning their fingers in circles next to their temples...) Goatie: (screaming) Alexrims baby, with stars! BObbie: (sticks a star on his forehead) BObbie baby, with stars! Goatie: (wala wala) BMX saddle for a comfy steel ride!  Papa: (sarcastic) People who drinks cement milk shakes don't ride with saddles... and I drink cement milk shakes... Goatie: (pumping biceps) Single speed, men's stuff!!! Donkey: (whatever) You can't afford ge
Read more

The Arms Race Report - It's Getting Crappy Edition

Image
Yes, yes, it's another one. Except this TIME it's a White lightning. Yeah, A White Lightning and not a Black Sabbath!!! But hey, this is the White Lightning that carried the Crap to a 2h48 at 2013's 94.7 Cycle Challenge with really pathetic training, lots of chain smoking and a diet of beer, whiskey and assorted cocktails... This is why he's the Crap... Crap's Time RXR Ulteam with Shitmano Dura Ace and Mavic Ksyrium ES. Crap: (in his own words...) TIME FELT good... You won't see the Crap's White Lightning for a long TIME, but you certain will FELT Crap's presence in some bars all over JHB...
Read more