Camp B.O. - The Lost City Challenge

The weekend before the Lost City Challenge the Crap decided to awake from his hibernation and go for a joy ride with the team. Most of the teammies knows this is not gonna end well and avoided his SMS's. except the idiots that is known as Lani, Choo Choo & BObbie. As Usual, they rode as slowly as they can but the Crap loaded with booze & nicotine was just... well... let's just say the Crap was pissed (that and that) and he decided the team needs a serious training camp, so he ordered "Camp B.O."!!!


BObbie after hooking up with sum "influential people" (herewith referred as IP) at Tub's bash thought he was getting the "suite". Not only did Crap chewned BObbie, he chewned IP to join the team at the dump, I mean camp. needless to say the IP was advil.

 BObbie wished for pee pee washers...

 Michelin 3 Star diner...

 "Watered" bed for 'Pa...

Panda was hoping for sum blow up dolls in the cupboard, instead, he found some purple pyjamas.

The girls at least had some privacy... until "sumBOdy lost the key".

Crap also cancelled charter flight. Lani was lucky as he used the "family" card and got himself into the Cabannas (Entire Team B.O. curse him) with BOwife, BObaby 1 & BObaby 2. The rest of the team had to go by Team B.O. Convoy. Tubs & Stache were tasked with catering and left early to go & cook on convoy 1. Panda waited for Pluggie & SF100WSD to finish their talk went on convoy 2. That means Goat, BObbie and 'Pa were in convoy 3. Yep, never a good idea.

First, Goat picked up Dev 1 was early.

Goat: BObbie, why are you still eating? Hang on, you haven't packed?!!!

BObbie: (still chewing) But you said 16h30?!!!

Goat: It's 16h32!!!

BObbie: (still chewing) So why you late?

'Pa then was upset Goat picked up BObbie before him because he hates waiting for BObbie. After they loaded the car 'Pa said they must wait.

Goat: (screaming) WAT NOU?!!!

'Pa: (calmly) Pilot wanna come with.

BObbie: (cleaning up 'Pa's fridge) I told you so...

At least the Pilot had them in laughters. He bought baby socks from Ackermans to cover his pedals when loading the bike. Then again, Goat uses men's underwear for under helmet, bike wash, bike protection, bike... let's just not go there... Anyway, eventually they go and immediately they can't agree how to get there. Goat & 'Pa started arguing and BObbie is already eating Dev 1's snack box. And with BObbie around, yep, Convoy 3 got stuck behind an accident on Malibongwe.

'Pa: (furious) Panda, I am stuck!

Panda: (curious) Stuck in another man or traffic?

'Pa: (fuming) TRAFFIC!!!

Panda: Ja, ja, so are we just ahead of you.

'Pa: (screaming) YOU COULDN'T WARN US?!!!

At least BObbie made them turn around and took the training route to Harties, smart BObbie this one. They even circled the traffic circle to wait for teammies like their training rides.

Needless to say, they arrived at the camp late and hungry. 'Pa immediately bitched about the facilities.

 Crap would be proud...

 Team B.O. Convoy.

 Food finally...

 Panda can't live without beers...

PDV drinking with Team B.O. instead of coaching the Bokke...

After dindin, Team B.O., OK, only Katy checked her equipment.  Only Katy realized her cleat was busted. BObbie the big mouth immediately gave her a lecture about preparation whilst the Pilot was trying to super glue the situation.

 Katy: So my cleat won't fit, but why is BObbie so mean?!!!

The IP now also arrived and almost went into cardiac arrest, no presidential suite, no Michelin rated food, no service, no whores. And just when he decided it's time to party, entire Team B.O. went to bed. Well, except for 'Pa, he went down in his boxers only to the next bungalow where teenagers were enjoying a holiday and bitch slapped them all including their parents for making a noise. Anyway, it was a peaceful night in camp B.O. men's dorm.

'Pa - Couldn't sleep all night with so many men in the same room.

Goat - Screams in his sleep.

Panda - Peed in his bed (smells like beer anyway...).

Tubs - Squeezed the whole night.

Stache - Snored the whole night.

Pluggie - Talked the whole night.

BObbie - Scratched his arse, burps and farts...

Pilot - (Nobody was paying attention to him as he was banished in the corner with no B.O. status).

IP - Watched porn on his cell phone the whole night.

The girls - (We had no idea as we didn't have the key to their dorm).

At 04h00, Goat's alarm went, 'Pa at 04h01, Panda at 04h02, BObbie at 04h03, IP thought Botswana had invaded Egypt. The boys decided to clean themselves up and look for food.

The purple pyjamas Panda stole from the cupboard, that is really disturbing.

So is goat's purple & yellow combination...

Middle aged men pretending to be teem agers... mid life crisis anyone?

Tubs, you need veges, China...

As usual, Team B.O. took their royal time which had the goat fuming off with Dev 1 & BObbie. 'Pa went back and beat up the teenagers and their parents again in their sleep before he departs for Sun City.

 Team getting ready in the freaking cold.

 Goat whines they won't be on time, except they still were and in front of the group anyway.

 Lani had to ride down from the Cabanas in the cold. NoBOdy felt sorry for him.

Advil Goat...

Since Katy had pedal issues, she started in the 66km with Dev 1 & Pilot. Goat, 'Pa, Panda, Lani, Tubs, Stache & BObbie all with A numbers on their back readies for their "domination" at C group. Pluggie entertained IP at the parking.

And guess who the boys bumps into? Yep, The Tjop!!!!!

Team B.O. is obviously getting attention, as they were released, noBOdy wanted to do any work and left the boys up front. BObbie as usual went on his surveillance trip and found a couple of seasoned campaigners camping at the back. Not liking what he sees, he went up front to the Panda & Goat and want them off the tow. Panda & Goat refused. Panda felt they were slow already and Goat points to the Tjop (& his tag along) who as usual attacked early and didnt' want to loose sight of him. Since Goat is Primary, BObbie shuts up and went back to the peloton as their goal was to win C and not going for a time ('Pa & Stache the only one with timing chips), 'Pa joins him. Just then, another tjop from some very big club shouted to team B.O. to ride faster. BObbie immediately chewns him to go work some or shut up. Full of man hood, a young tjop decided to chase the Tjop down. Yep, you guessed it, failed attempt and he was back in the peloton in about 5 seconds.


The peloton arrives at it's first climb of the day and the peloton splits easily. BObbie attempts a double shift to spin up the hills had his chain cam off (Katy screams: Why didn't you check your gear?!!!). Whilst BObbie pulled over, Goat took over Editing Rights.

With fingers frozen to the handle bars (last recorded temperature before the start was 3,5 deg) Team BO supporting the primary immediately took charge. They shook up the place and dictated the pace. NoBOdy was going to win ahead of Team BO today. The Goat decided it was time to look in the rear view camera to see which team mate was backing him up…

And that's when The Goat realized it was going to be a Bad One. 

The Tjop, having LERNED NOTHING from his defeat at Wilro four months ago unwittingly caused havoc all over again. The peoloton, unfamiliar with his childlike ways was getting frustrated at the Team BO strategy of not trying to keep pace with The Tjop. 

Anyway Team BO was up front mostly. and on the climbs, more pics were taken for the Centrum Int'l Marketing Dept, a division of that mighty pharmaceutical company that could buy out the whole of SA with a fraction of their turnover…but I digress…

Eventually around 60km sight was regained of The Tjop and his collaborator, die swart gevaar, The Panda Pretender (Henceforth referred as PP)!

The peloton took turns sitting on The Tjop's wheel, he kept motioning for people to take turns leading at the front but noBOdy from Team BO was going to fall for this farce again. He would LERN, zies Tjop!

Instead of riding consistently at a reasonable pace with a disciplined rotation, the race was defined by chases and recoveries. When D-Group swallowed up the C-leading peloton a near panic ensued during which several crashes were successfully averted in the restructuring. The remaining 3 amigos BOpa, fake Panda and The Goat  had important BOsiness to attend to. An executive decision was made within sight of the Finish. The COD (Cont Of the Day) title was award to he who shall henceforth be referred to as The Tjop. 

Prior to the finish,Team BO taught the peloton the meaning of Bad One with the only low excuse for a hill that could be found. Amidst an almost deadly mix of Tjops, traffic, Group C & D (zies Mixed Race is no good ja?) Team BO drove deep in the heart of the peloton. The Crowd roared and blew vuvuzelas, smashing BOttles in honor of the BOshies and chanting songs of liberation from the struggle and the oppression. SomeBOdy must have leaked to them that Zuma was riding for Team BO.

Meanwhile, Tubs & Lani was at the back constipating. BObbie after chasing back had another chaingate. Stache now passes him with D's leading group. BObbie is running out of excuses as his whole year is just full of "excuses". But he had no choice, BObbie got back on his bike and time trialed to chase back Stache. It took him 10km but he was eventually in Stache's group with some D guys BObboe worked with. Stache & BObbie by now, just sat in the group to go home. There isn't much they can do.

At the finish, Pluggie with a camera eagerly anticipate the domination of Team B.O.

 Pluggie: Here they come, here they come!!!

Pluggie: Oh... luckily it's not them...

Pluggie: Crap...

 Pluggie: OK, this is now the right group!!!

Pluggie: WTF?!!!

Pluggie: You guys suck!!!

 BObbie: (beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!!!)

 Stache: hehehehe

(Ed. note: There is just sumthing disturbing about Stache's laugh, it's like a certain rugby coach, just wrong...)

 Goat: (blaming) BObbie you fat "beep"!!! Where the "beep" were ju?!!!

 BObbie: (had enough) WTF?!!! I am not even riding and the chain comes off?!!!

 Panda: (sighs) Zies BObbie, ei...

 BOpa: (angry) "beep" zies BObbie!!!

 BObbie: (scratched his ass, farts, burps and downed a coke all at the same time...)

And guess who just rode in? The Tjop himself who made the peloton think he was gonna win... NOT!!! Oops, 'Pa's after him, pray for the Tjop. pray for the Tjop!!!

 Ja nee, not good to publish for family website...

 Yep, the Panda also wants in, but the Tjop is not exactly responding...

 And zie Panda let him have it!!!

 Wo, what just happened?!!!

Oh, the Lani & constiTUBS arrived...

Well, it was a Bad One for Team B.O., they lost the group...

Teammies sulking...

Why is IP here?

 Panda drowns his sorrow in a pink drink... wait a minute! Pin drink?!!! WTF?!!! Man don't drink pink!!!

Panda in pain...

After a bit of R & R at the Valley of the waves... Teammies begins to go home to catch the rugby... Goat, 'Pa, Dev 1 & BObbie decided to stop to grab some pan cakes... yep, you guessed right. It was closed. Goat & 'Pa beat the crap out of BObbie on the side of the road and left him there...

Next up, individual seeding races, D2D.