It's a Joke - The 2011 Jock according to the Goat.

(Editor's Note: This is the Goat's first attempt to be a BOditor...)

Part I

We started out on Friday afternoon by ensuring there was enough food. many fruits were bought to sustain the animals. 

As copilots go - Whales are not great with directions...

The treacherous Austrian Panda forced us to collect his chip whilst he made out with Sumlab. At some point in the evening the Goat, recognizing the sequence of events and remembering the late arrival at Argus decided it was time to pass the phone to the Whale to give directions (snigger).

(Editor's note: yes, yes, I didn't get that either...)

Upon arrival at the modest -3 stars accommodation in Barberton the Whale and Goat proceeded to destroy Panda's sleeping quarters. Jumping on the bed, leaving windows open, Whale wiped his rear on the pillow, Goat came on the bed, they left religious reading materials on the scene of the crime and obliterated the toilet by dropping some old school beats...

(Editor's note: BObbie is right, Goat don't flush!!!)

They then celebrated by opening the parting gift from Goat's development committee.

(Editor's note: no, no, you got it right, I don't know what he's on about either...)

Bikes ready they headed for some much needed rest...

End of Part I.

Part II

The night was spent behind locked doors in fear of the ire of the Panda. He could be heard slamming windows and flushing toilets through the night in an effort to make his pad comfortable enough for a few hours of precious sleep ahead of his ride with Miss. Cannondale. 

(Editor's note: What happened to Miss. GT?!!!)

Whale's iPhone was the first to go off at 4am... this was closely followed by the Goat dropping an old school beat, leaving The Whale wondering where he could offload and still rescue his day. 

At 5am, a simple breakfast consisting of honest oats & bananas was followed by fried mini sausage. 'Nuff said. 

At 6am, the Goat realised he was conned by the other animals who only needed to be at the race by 7am (Editor's note: What else is new? These paranoid animals...). Applying much needed pressure and driving like he was riding (Entire Team BO: WTF?!!! You wish you could drive like you ride, pedestrian with a steering wheel...). The way was made in a rush to get to the start in Barberton (not just down the road as promised by the guesthouse matron). 

Whilst Whale and Panda got dressed and applied cream to each other at Coronation Park (Editor's note: Too much info!!!), The Goat rushed to the start. Then he rushed back to fetch his phone (Entire Team BO: Not even surprised, bet you he forget sumthing else too...), then he rushed back to the start, then he rushed back to get a banana (Entire Team BO: And we haven't even stopped typing...), then he rushed back, then he rushed back to get some cream from the Panda. We don't know if the Panda and Whale finally came to their senses because VA group was calling (Editor's note: yes, yes, I know. You are lost again. Hey, it's a goat, it munches and climbs, what more do you want?)

Because of the lack of a proper MBA (Real smart man note: MBA are created to create smart slaves to work for real smart people who sit there directing smart slaves to make more money for them.), the Goat slotted into VB group by mistake (Real smart man note: I have failed with this slave, haven't I). Nevermind these tjoppies whom will get dominated, thought the Goat  (Real smart man note: Oh crap, he thinks...). The Mayor of this gold producing town was present and swore he'd ride next year, he'd have to ditch his mayoral chain (too heavy). 

And in other trivia, The Whale is carrying weight equating to three bicycles. 

Group VB set off in the fog and the cold looking towards the mountains that would define this day (Editor's note: BObbie will have sumthing to say about mountains...). 

When the climbs were first encountered Goat had to munch. After munching he knew he had serious matters, pictures were needed for Team BO Centrum! Pushing ahead of the group to get a better view point some shots could be taken.

Just when the climb was getting uncomfortable, it stopped. Nelspruit.

A short ride to the Nelspruit stadium where PWC greeted the much awaited arrival of the Goat with sounds of cheer. Thinking these cheap kents were only offering biscuits and orange for "breakfast" the Goat proceeded to gorge himself to get his money's worth....the next rider was smarter and asked where the breakfast was being served (Editor's note: Jock is famous for loads of gal food for city slickers, but they don't' serve idiots...).

Meanwhile back in group BL the Panda was diligently not sticking his neck out and maintained a safe lurking distance with the gay in front. 

DL group where The Whale had been slaughtered was a match for this oversized racing machine...

After eating and visiting ablutions and getting groped on camera by the ladies serving breakfast, the Panda arrived to the sound of no cheer. Hot on his wheels was The Whale living large. A photoshoot ensued.

And so it was that the three amigos set off once again for the second stage. 

Armed with a remaining 8 bananas, 2 muffins, 2 energade jellies and his quicksand - The Goat was mocked by all present, led by the ever annoying Panda who conned the mba-less goat into riding BL group. 

Meanwhile back in DL group The Whale was wondering what possessed him to accept this race ticket and whether "Boulders" was truly as steep as he'd heard or as flat as BObbie compared to That french Tour.

End of Part II.

Part III

(Everyone still waiting...)