Meals for Wheels Race Report - Ride To Eat Edition

It all started with the Pork Run...

See, whilst the B.O.'s and Tallie are riding and talking trash, the wives, girl friends and Taggie are left at home, twiddling thumbs and missing all the fun, that ain't right. But not all of them enjoy riding a bicycle as much as the B.O.'s do, so with a Dev & a BOwife's invitation, Gaatie, Lani, Waala, Maths and BObbie decided to try the Pork Run at Delta Park where the B.O.'s ride to Delta Park and join the girls (no Taggie today, but eventually he will come...) for a run before grabbing some healthy lunch.

Although it's casual running around the park, Pork Run is extremely well organized by volunteers and are a timed event where you can track your progress, it's a fantastic thing to do with your partners, unless your partners are B.O.'s, and they bring friends...

Waala: (easy) Lani is a small piece, not like that BObbie...

Lani: (panting) Waala might look big, but that BObbie is bigger...

Ah... a swing, romance can happen on a swing...

LOOK how well they run together in sync, like a perfect couple in "luv"...

Gaatie: (why?!!!) Why do I have to lug a BObbie?!!!

Not only did the BOys interrupted the runners, bumped off mountain bikers, chased away dogs walking its owners, they also did a sprint finish and made up stories to the TIME keepers about why they have no chip (BOd note: (what else) They freaking stole the run...).

Oh well, TIME to eat...

Pops, the photo don't show it justice, but the latte here neh, the colour is much darker than that coffee flavoured warm milk you drink...

These sandwiches are freshly made at Trieste, you won't find better...

Well, OK, BObbie already did, freshly made waffles with home made ice creams...

Goatie busted with dipping into BObbie's plate...

OK, enough about the Pork Runs now. This is a Race Report and we have a Race to Report. It's Meals for Wheels on a cold, dark and windy day... Yep, Goatie goes angry mode and threatens BObbie with his breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks if he B.O.'s one more race this year. He is going on a juice diet, if he doesn't show up...

The Goat was late in picking the BObbie up though, he then blames the BObbie for not standing outside in the cold, dark and windy for wasting his TIME.

Goatie in angry driving mode...

The Convoy then arrives at Maths' to hook up a fish...

All they hooked up was a trailer loaded with bikes.

Right, moving on, TIME for some diesel. You would think a organization such as the B.O. would have filled their tank the day before so as to avoid rushing to the race so early in the morning. But let's not go there as it will only annoy a Goat...

After more TIME is wasted, the convoy finally leaves Maths behind in an angle. By now, the dedicated Pa is already somewhere on the highway getting lost, the Dinki got out of his bed in the dark and proceeded to bump into a bar. Not far away, Taggie LERNS his Tallie ain't coming.

At 05h43, Dinki sent out a SOS for canned goods. A charity race, it's a TIME honoured tradition to donate a can of food to the under privileged when you ride the race. In the convoy, BObbie asks for a can opener.

Goat: (angry as always) WTF you want a can opener for?!!!

BObbie: (hungry as always) I am hungry...

Dev: (don't rob the under privileged) But those cans are for donations, wait, where are the cans?!!!

Whale: (freeloading) Did someBOdy bring me a can?

BObbie: (I am innocent) Hey, it's not me, I was just asking for a can opener so I couldn't have eaten it yet...

Goat: (silence, as he forgot the cans by the door on the way rushing out since he was late...) Well, we will just buy some cans when we fill up at the garage.

Well, the BP convenient store by the highway is under renovation, so no can on the cans.

But the BObbie, he did find a MacDoanlds, except it's not 06h00 yet, they not open.

So the B.O.'s sent in a Whale to "negotiate"...

There is nothing the Whale cannot bargain for...

Whale loading up for the race...

Dev loading up for the race...

Goatie loading up for the race...

Yes, no photo evidence of BObbie consuming unhealthy MacDonald cheese burgers, with extra large fries and coke...

TIME to go. After all, they still have to get to a race.

Some where, Pops is lost, Tubs woke up in a bar, Dinks and Taggie found direction and Waala found out he didn't bring his cleats...

Whale: (how can I race without my shoes) We must turn around!!!

Goat: (fuming) There is no effing way, we will be late!!!

BObbie: (chirping) Well, if you drive like you ride...

Goat: (cutting off BObbie) There is nothing wrong with the way I drive!!!

Dev: (offering her two cents) LOOK, you can drive at 120km/h, that's the law, it's made clear to you when you apply for your drivers...

Whale: (adding fuel to fire) And if you used your iPhone's GPS you'd know you are lost and wasting TIME, TIME I could have used to go fetch my shoes!!!

BObbie: (LOOK what I found) Hey, a car with bikes, they must be going to the race, Goatie, hurry, follow them!!! Floor it Goatie, he's getting away, Goatie, floor it, they can lead us to the race, Goatie... oh never mind...

And as the car with bikes left trails of exhaust fumes in their wake, the B.O. convoy is lost, yet again.

Whale: (accusing) You going to break the trailer with the way you drive!!!

Goat: (how dare you) There is nothing wrong with the way I drive, If you had actually built a proper trailer...

2785 faithful, loyal and rabid fans: (and we not even at the start yet...)

Meanwhile, The Dinki had hooked up with a Taggie and arrived at the race. Dinki sent the B.O. convoy a "I have arrived safely" message. The B.O. convoy picked up a Pa somewhere who has been lost since he still had hair. Since Dinks is at the race ground, the B.O. convoy asks Dinks for a map to get to him...

It was great "help", to say the "least"...

Eventually the B.O. convoy arrives at the race ground, which is just kitten cold...

Pops' peeling...

Dev's wrapping...

Dinks' balleting...

Taggie's scratching...

Goat's hiding...

And Waala's prepping a ride with Crocs...

No sign of the Tubbie... Then again, there is not a bar in sight...

With the wind howling at 45km/h, the sun hiding behind them clouds and the peloton shivering in the cold, the B.O.'s racked up on their bikes and lined up. Goat who got lost to the starting line were lost at the back of the peloton.

No matter, as soon as the digitized fake gun sounds, Pops shot through the gate trailed by the Dinki, Taggie and BObbie. Waala on Crocs is riding the short piece with the Dev. But the wind, she's not kind, not 2km in the race the Goat coming from behind caught the BObbie and Taggie BOnking in the wind. Goat offered a tow but the BObbie and Taggie can't keep, the BOys decided to let a Goat loose.

Wasn't long before the Goat caught up with Dinks and Pops up front, and it wasn't long before Pops went away with the break aways. Goat & Dinks calmly rode in the peloton. Further back, BObbie and Taggie towing a thinned peloton in the wind to no where and Taggie is cramping.

Taggie: (cramping) BObbie, BObbie, I am cramping...

BObbie: (great opportunity) Oh Taggie, you are badly injured, Oh my lord, that's so bad, I am sure I can see blood, you really need to stop riding!!!

Taggie: (que?!!!) Er... just a little cramp, give me some Rennies and we can go on...

BObbie: (shut up you fool) No, no, LOOK at all that blood, oh Taggie how can you go on!!! We have to turn back, we will do a short one so you can patch that wound!!!

Since BObbie is the senile B.O....

In their defence, they stopped to wait for the Whale on Crocs. BObbie believes Whale would need his help too...

As a massive figure appeared in the horizon and made the U-Turn for the short one, the Whale was glad he has some company for the return journey, on his Crocs. BObbie and Taggie happily jumped on the Whales back for some wind cover. Except... this Whale is power... It didn't take long for the Whale to shake off BObbie and Taggie in the wind and left them for dead... Clearly he should be riding for another club in black and white.

Upfront, the BOys are now all back together, the breakaway has broken away. Pops, Gaatie and Dinki gather the remains and heads back home, together.

Further back, poor Dev struggled alone...

Whale arrived back to the race ground first, not long after came the BObbie and a Taggie. All shivering. Whale immediately went on a free loading mission and got the BOys coffee and muffin. BObbie then added boerie rolls for all.

Wondering around the ground the BOys then found this...