Team B.O.

Lani glanced at his diamond studded Rolex and impatiently pushed the door open to BObbie’s office with both hands. The barbaric motion startled BObbie’s assistant at first, but she was too afraid to scream when she realized the look on Lani’s face. Lani: Where’s BObbie?!!! BObbie’s assistant: He’s, he’s, er… he’s interviewing a new staff today, Sir. Without bothering with the pleasantries, Lani stormed out of BObbie’s office and headed toward the board room. He usually is a gentle person, always polite, always smiling. But BObbie and his tardiness have driven him insane. BObbie hardly does any work and they are about to meet with one of their biggest client in 7 minutes yet BObbie is spending his time interviewing a new staff? A task BObbie’s assistant should have handled. With the same aggression, Lani kicked the board room door open with such force the first greeting he received was a scream from an obvious young girl. And then his jaw dropped open as he watched a young blonde t...

The Black Sabbath. Goat's weapon of choking is based on a Scott Addict R1 frame, Campagnolo Record groupset and Zipp 404's.

We may belong to a club or ride with a consistent bunch of friends, but most of us amateur riders rock up to a race alone. Friends may not be seeded in your starting group and even if they are, we often times raced alone. We each have individual goals, although we all chased shorter finish times and lower seedings, we basically raced as individuals. And as with any amateurs, we look to the pro teams for a hint of what it should be and we watched the domestiques sacrificing their own desires to work for their team leaders. Albeit we admire their selflessness, but most of all, we dreamed the podium, we brag about our seeding, we argue like tradesmen for every seconds and we took the concept of cycling as an individual sport. BObbie rocked up at McSteal a Carnival, he had publicly announced that he will ride with the team and at the left turn, sprint away and leave them with the palookas. Instead of a glory that nobody would notice anyway, BObbie punctured before the race even started. ...

A bike can be as stiff as a Lani, hand built like Donut, light as a Goat, look like a Panda and felt like a Captain, but if you don't have the legs, you don't have anything. The pros have legs like zies. Goat have legs like zies. Playboy offers you zies. 13 votes get you zies!!!

Zie iPanda!!! Bonold's weapon of destruction. Zie iPanda is based on a LOOK 595 Ultra frame, Shitmano Dura Ace 7900 and Fockrim Racing 3.

Code name:  BOpit . Team function: Katy's domestique. Ride:   Pinarello FP6, Shitmano. Origin:  SAB . Career: Plumbing e ngineer by day, domestique by night. Famous last words:   "I am not an addict!". Famous hobby:   Likes to lick his armpits. Secret training drink: Black Label. Secret training method: Chain smoking. Secret man love: Brad Pitt.

Tis is a sad day. After a grand showing at Discum, Team BO went into "I am too tired to race anymore mode". Crap simply disappeared, Lani blamed it on BObaby, Rabia is still asleep on the same couch, Bladder has returned home to Taiwan (his parting words: "My girls trains harder, get results and is sponsored proper!!!", we should hurt him when he cums next), Whale has a hump back issue and Bushie said he's heart broken. He was dumped by his golf course bunnies citing something soft. And zie Goat, he was there, but we not sure what he was there for. we also saw BOpit, so maybe Katy was secret racing somewhere or still drunk. Turns out it was BOpit and Katy was secret Racing. That was not very Ayoba. No matter, zie Panda and Donut (or was it BOpa) met up at Fournos and the two happily rode to the start. They also bumped into old man Glen who chewned fat BObbie a bit. This was also the first time this year BObbie (or was it BOpa) was on time for a race, exc...

Zies morning as usual the team went out for a lide. BObbie was told by zie Lani that it's gonna be an easy recovery lide. Lani after a nice and slow pace up H.P. klapped it on Ontdekkers. Zies was followed by zie Austrian who klapped it somewhere. Zies was then followed by zie Goat who klapped it even more!!! BObbie is basically klapped. But den dey ate proper. But dey no see BOpa, who was trash talking the team about how slack dey are, not working hard enough, need to do more intervals, sprint more hills, more base. So whilst the Goat trained ahead, BObbie ate a lot, Lani cooked for BObbie, Crap drank himself stupid, Katy partied, aRabia slept, Whale flipped and zie Panda tried to work some, zie BOpa was hospitalized. BOpa has been diagnosed with some heart thingy. Apparently from using Viagra to stimulate. The doctors used a dildo and probed his ass and found this. They are keeping him in the hospital to shove more objects up his ass. BOpa is now out of action and ...

The CEO of Pfizer is not a happy man. In a few hours he has to appear at the AGM and explain to the angry mobs that is his shareholders about how they can sell little blue pills but not multi vitamins. Standing in front of him is his National Sales Manager who although has a reputation for being one of the best salesman in the country, has not delivered the results. Not even looking at the man he can sense his nervousness; he could almost feel his cold sweats. CEO: I asked for improvement, did I not? NSM : (evidently shaking) Sir, I have been working hard in hoping my sales would “climb”. CEO: (snickers) You have? On what “base”? And before his NSM could answer, he abruptly interrupts. CEO: You need more visibility. Find me a professional sport team to sponsor, make sure they deliver results better than you do and make it appears that is because they used our multi vitamins and not because they are doped up with Links’ cheaper alternatives!!! Always the man who obeys, the NSM de...

Zie Goat, he's a dedicated man. A disciplined man. Cycling has become his routine, his goal, his religion and his life. He wakes up when the cocks are still asleep, if he's not on his bike, he's in a gym. He makes love to his bike more than with his girl friend. He eats, drinks cycling and not an ounce of junk to his body, his temple, a sculptured body of not much fat (10% to be exact) and so much more muscles (43%). Zie BObbie, he's also a dedicated man. A disciplined man. Cycling has become his excuse. He eat lots, burps, farts and pooh poohs. Donut has became his religion and he never says no to food, any food. He hangs around Lani's to get free food and that's after breakie, lunch, dindin and in between snacks. His tummy put the Crap to shame and make the Whale look like an eel. But he's the silent assassin and now we know why...

The long and the long Discum is at our face. Look, the graph might scare you, well, you should be scared. But not the steep climb you think it is. It's not  a Kruger nor is it a Hekkie. It just a freaking long drag that goes on & on & on. You will probably need to be in your big chain ring to stay in the peloton. But it will eat at your energy & power level. You do not want to be left in the open at this.

BOlani BO'd at 15:45 which is close enough to 4am to make it acceptable (Ed.: Bastard should be punished for sending BO SMS to the editor instead of 0832092264). This of  course left BOic and myself with the dilemna of what to do with the F@@king  mushrooms and baked beans requested by BOlani (Ed.: hahahaha, idiots). Nonetheless inspired by the sacrifice that the Kraptain had put in this weekend past in leading his men onto  the battlefield we soldiered on. On Ontdekkers the bushie (Ed.: that's BOpa for our faithful and loyal fans, all 0 of them) came of (Ed.: should "off", but he's german) second best  against a big grey Metro bus (I thought it was supposed to be a big red bus that  takes one out) (Ed.: damn, stupid driver, aim better next time!). Then BOic got punctured and his jooish side showed itself as he was shown to not carry bombs and tried to inlfate with the pump (Ed.: cum on, admitted, he actually asked ju guys for tubes, bombs etc. right? ...

Back in the days the word Emperor had meaning. It was a title that is larger than Kings and its rules far broader than that of a kingdom. The word brought a sense of admiration and awe. It offers only the best and the most. But Alas, time flies by. The old empires collapse and fades, it's former glory is nothing but shadows and dust, backgrounds for poets and writers, only a legacy remains. BOic: Er... where's Langer? BOlani: Where's Aaron? BOpa: Where's Bionic Racing Team? BOnold: Where's BOrabia? BOwhale: Where's my tuna? Crap: Where's Katy? BObbie: Where's the toilet? Yep, the bests, the bestests, the most bestests are at P.E. being conned by the ever efficient CSA into one of the uber screw ups that is called S.A. Champs. Starting at 07h00, racing in circuits around the city of Port Elizabeth, on a Friday. BObbie: Er... what about traffic? Yep, if fat BObbie can ask that out of his donut filled brain, you know CSA would quickly during t...