Team B.O.

Following the success of Stoneheaven, Team BO was pumped for the 2011 season. Crap was pleased with his team's performance and BOpa secured a sponsorship from Pfizer. Although the team would preferred to be called Team BO Viagra for more of a potent, long last effect. But Team BO Centrum and supplements is not too bad either, the team thought. Alas, what a con! When in doubt, always choose potency & long lasting! Because of recent fraud issues, zie Crap stayed behind to audit his books, BOtall is still heart broken, BOlabia was banned, BOpunda was sinning and Katy was, well, drunk. No matter, BOic, BObbie, Whale, BOpa, BOlani and Bladder was ready to roll. The entire team will start at group B and work for BOic (not that he needed any help, but you know, it sounds professional). The week leading to the race was miserable to say the least, what with lousy, wet weathers and spoilt any chance of training. So when the team woke up to some gorgeous weather, they were happy as BOla...

Zie Fast One turned into zie Bad One for BObbie. 29/1/2011, 21h30: BObbie & Bladder packed all equipments for zie Fast One. BObbie's niece played in the vicinity. 29/1/2011, 22h00: BObbie kissed his niece good night, stripped down to his 21 and hugged his teddy bear Donut (that his name). 30/1/2011, 00h10: For some reason BObbie suddenly woke up, sleepy eyed and hot, BObbie turned on the TV and watched some porn, hoping that will get him to sleep. 30/1/2011, 03h04: BObbie finally managed to sleep. 30/1/2011, 04h02: Bladder wakes up BObbie. 30/1/2011, 04h18: BObbie struggles to pooh pooh. At the same, Bladder can't find his socks. 30/1/2011, 04h37: BObbie can't pooh pooh, Bladder can't find his socks. Both blamed the niece since the niece already MIA a pair of insoles from BObbie's new shoes. 30/1/2011, 04h57: BOic called BObbie and the conversation record as below. BOic: Dude, a funny thing happened. BObbie: (grumps)... BOic: You know th...

Can it be? Is this true?

With dignity & respect, Team BO is proud to reveal, BOpunda and his lady, zie Sin-lady!!! OK, zie editor did not mean for zie blog to becum a gossiping column, let's reveal what we should be revealing... Team BO retards... All right, all right... Team BO Centrum kits... Yes, Yes, the word "Team BO" will be written by hand with a black marking pen on duct tape. Still, we did not receive our caps and zie Crap & zie Goat is not vely happy about it. Looks like BOtall is sniffing something... powdery... BOic: Check my two overweight buddies... hey, where's BObbie?!!! BOic: Mmm... Whale, ju need to loose some weight... Whale: Who? Me? BOtall: I need to loose another 4 kilos... Mmm... even BObbie thinks he needs to loose some weight... BOpunda: BObbie, you are fat! BObbie: Who? Me?

UCI Press Release:- It is with great pleasure that we announce the forming of a new Pro(stitute) Tour Status team today, Team BO Centrum. Although they won’t immediately join the Pro Pelotons in any of the UCI Pro Tour Races, we hope they never will. We must state that it is not UCI’s intention to grant them the status nor do any Pro Tour teams condone this approval since all Team BO does is eat a lot of food, clown in races and get results like any French Teams, which is none. And there are obvious suspicions of them enhancing like all Spanish Teams since they are backed by a pharmaceutical company that brings us little blue pills. But they do exist, unlike any German Pro Tour teams and they have a few riders who claims former glories that is basically history like any Italian Pro Tour Teams. but we are the UCI, we accept any winless, big budget British Pro Tour Teams and we love controversies like we love the American Pro Tour teams. So it is with grave concern that we welcums Team B...

It seemed that many members of Team BO does not know what’s happening with 2011’s schedules. So the Crap ordered BObbie to clarify matters. BObbie obviously listed all team dindin’s scheduled which pissed off the Crap and ordered him to stop eating and get real as the season officially begins this Sunday. Well, for soon to be sponsored Team BO Centrum that is (details to follow soon). Anyway... Must do events to improve your own seedings Date Event Miles Winning Time   Team BO Best 30 Jan         The Wet One         106km         New race 2h48 (BOic) 6 Feb Pasta at Goat’s 99km 2h16 2 h40 (BOic) 13 Feb         Discum                  116km 2h37 3h02 (Whale) 13 Mar         W...

The Fast One 201 Edition will be held at Team BO's first victory ground, the Meyerton International Trash Ground!!! This obviously is not good news since they were literally chased out of the deep South. Even Botall is nervous. The one person who is very happy about it is BOpunda, he loves the armpit hairs of the Southern ladies... Regardless, JHB has been flooded with rain and since last year the Fast One was actually the Wet One, this could be rather windy, wet, slippery on narrow roads... but flat!!! BOpa will confirm whether we will be riding our new "Team BO Viagra" kit in light blue or "Team BO Centrum" in Orange. We also eagerly awaits news from BOpunda whether he would ride a new bike or Cindy. Either way it is eagerly anticipated.

So the weather man said “BO” for the weekend, and a few “BO” member who know better replied by saying “Come say that on my wheel Biatch!” and rode on Saturday and Sunday anyways which both turned out to be awesome cycling days. Except for Boic who the Lord said will LERN for not contributing to the wealth of certain oil rich “Sand Monkey’s”. In turn Boic got pissed on by the Lord en-route to starting point of Sundays Ride. In his defence though he did check in with the 2 nd  best weather predictor after the Lord Himself at 6am this morning. The conversation went something like this…. Loic: “ I have clear skies and lightning on the horizon? What’s the weather saying on your side” Waiman “Cool” (bear in mind I was still in bed, had not got up yet and did not know what T FAAK I was talking about… Loic: “OK” Se moer!, he got pissed on like a whore in a Golden Shower Orgie….. None the less towards 7:30am it seemed to be clearing so Sean and I decided to cal Arnold and take our mounta...

Attention, attention. We have a serious matter at hand! Because the editor in chef (no, that's not a spelling mistake) is deeply involved in this, we need all your judgements in the matter as this is a "serias" matter! Zies morning BOlani, BOpunda, BOic & BObbie was set to challenge BOic & BObbie's 113 record over 37km loop (or 112 over 36km loop). BObbie was late as usual and because BObbie was late, the timer started at Honda which means today's loop is 35km. Working off averages from the Garmin you need to beat 111 to break the record but the team did it in 113. Immediately after the ride a formal complaint was lodged at UCI's office from BOlani. Dear Chairman of the UCI, I/we (BOpunda and I) would like to file a formal complaint against your previously ELITE and currently dis-advantaged riders “BObbie” and “BOic” for plotting to defend their title of the 112 despite our efforts as a 4 men team this time to crack possibly a 111. We were...

Code name: Whale. Weight: A few tons. Ride: Scott CR1, Campagnolo Chorus, Campagnolo Eurus. Origin: North sea by Holland, sometimes appearing near Australian coasts. Secret training diet: Salmon. Secret training ground: Aquarium. Secret training methods: Stalking. Secret fantasies: Soft jelly **** & neighbours. Team function: Was upfront to win, now upfront to block wind. Famous last words: "I know where you live!". Famous abilities: Can lick himself.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Er... eh... ja... we start with BOpunda's search for pureness. BOtall & Katy: Go pure, take it off! Take it off!!! BOic: He no 19 lah... BOtall & Katy: Keep it on, keep it on... Why would BOpunda be interested at this?!!! Well, BOpunda found his roots eventually, back in China. BOlani has been cuming with "I only had 3 hours of sleep last night!!!", guess he's been telling the truth!!! Katy needs to learn some manners. This was taken when Katy was stopped by cops traveling around 198km/h on her way to some rest & recuperation. According to trusted inside source, Katy promptly got out of her car, ran toward the cop with a pump. The cops was seen back pedaling and shouting "ma'am, ma'am, it's OK, we forget about this one, ne? Please, put down what ever that black thing you are holding, ma'am!!! No!!! Eina!!!" Katy was heard shouting "You want to be clever, ne? Yo...